Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 5/12/2009

Question
QUESTION: I'm Christian and 13 and this past sun my mom died i don't know how to deal with all the stress and things i trust my youth pastor and he said hes there for me but i don't know if i should go to him and all of this is scary and over whelming so should i go to my youth pastor even though hes 23 and I'm 10 years younger and I'm a girl and hes a guy? is it wrong to ask god why he would let this happen?or to cry since in the bible it says we should have joy? please help

ANSWER: Hi Megan,

I am so sorry for your loss.  May the God of all comfort wrap you up in His loving arms.  Here are a few things to consider if your mother was saved:

1.  She is now in a place of no pain or sorrow... and she is waiting for you.

Revelation 21:1-5


And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. 2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. 4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. 5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  If you are saved you will be with her someday.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. 15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.  16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: 17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. 18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

3.  God has given you a youth pastor, pastor, and other believers at church to help share your sorrow.  YES!  Go to them and let them speak to your heart.  God has placed you in that church because those very people are their by God's perfect design to help you in times like this.

1 Corinthians 12:25-27
25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.  26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
27 Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: what are normal christain reactions and is it wrong to not go to church the sun of mothersday since we are having a speachall service for moms?

ANSWER: Hi Megan,

Thank you for this great follow up question.  Christians mourn the loss of loved ones like anyone else does,.  The difference is you are not without hope.  Just because you know that someday you will see your mother again, that does not mean that you will not feel anger, guilt, sadness, and lonliness.  I am sure that God holds you in the palm of His hand even if your family takes you somewhere besides church on Mother's day.

John 10:27-30
27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and my Father are one.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: are there any more bible vfearerses that can help even with when im scared?or sad?

Answer
Hi Megan,

Thanks for this great question.  Here are some verses I use to comfort myself.

Psalm 147:3
3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.  
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Psalm 40:1-5


1 To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.
1  I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.  2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.  3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. 4 Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. 5 Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.  

Psalm 42:1-5


1 To the chief Musician, Maschil, for the sons of Korah.
1  As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.   2 My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God? 3 My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? 4 When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday. 5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.    

Psalm 56:8
8 Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Psalm 23:1-6


1 A Psalm of David.
1  The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.   3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Romans 8:31-39
31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth. 34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written,  For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.


1 John 5:4-5
4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. 5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don