Expert: Carl Fuglein - 5/11/2009

Question
In my youth group the junior high girls have to lead one group. I wanted to teach them about how to deal with it when friends are joking about God and using his name in vain. I also want to know how to approach non Christians about the subject of hell and how you tell them without offending them.

Answer
Hi Cara-

Two really tough questions.

1.  How to deal with friend's using God's name in vain, and joking about Him.

The best approach is a direct one, and do it immediately, the first time it happens.  If you wait, it loses effect.  Tell your friends bluntly:  

"I believe in God whether you do or not.  When you joke about him or use his name in vain, even when you say, Oh My God! (or worse OMFG), you offend me and my beliefs.  If you can't be respectful of my beliefs, then I don't think we can be friends any more."

If they continue to mock God or use his name in vain, then you have to walk away and find some other friends.  They probably weren't the type of friends you wanted anyway.  But if they really are your friend, they'll stop and you won't have to walk away.



2.  How to approach non Christians about hell and how you tell them about it without offending them.

Well, the first way to get them to walk away is to tell them that they're going to hell.  WRONG.  First, and this step may actually take years, you build a relationship with them.  Second, you act like a Christian, don't judge them, and act the best you can without sinning.  Third, sooner or later, they will notice something about you and your positive attitude (You ARE positive, aren't you?  Positive because you have Jesus in your life?  If not, then you better work on yourself before talking to your non-Christian friends).  When they notice your positive attitude, they will notice that something is different about you, and ask you about it.  Then you tell them your salvation story.  You can tell them the story before they're ready to listen, but you'll drive them away.  Trust me, after years of doing this, the best thing you can do is build relationships and be friends.  If you do, you'll be planting a seed that only the Holy Spirit can grown.  Planting the seed is the most important job you have.


Let me give you a personal example.  One of my best friends is an atheist.  He was totally turned off to Christianity and Christians, all because they either shunned him or told him he was going to hell.  I did no such thing, but I listened to him and asked him why he believed the way he did, and then I started to give him an alternative.  We've spent hours talking about atheism vs. Christianity.  He thinks I'm crazy, and I think he's going to hell.  But we're still friends. I've planted the seed, and maybe someday, God is going to catch hold of him, and when He does, I'm going to take the teeniest little credit, because he was, and is, my friend.

Hope this helps,

blessings,

Carl

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