Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 5/3/2009

Question
dear pastor, Im currently in a common law relationship with a man for the past 4 yrs and we have a daughter together. a family member of his recently passed away and he took it really hard. He now decides that he wants to change his life, go to church and give his life to god. he also wants us to get married in the next 5 yrs..My question to you is this, is it ok to be intimate with him since we are not married and Im his intended ? 5yrs to me is a very long time and anything is possible. furthermore I wouldn't want to be a bad influence between him and god..please reply as soon as you can thank you

Answer
Hi Jill,

Thank you for this question.  I am glad that he wants to get married.  As you know, it was wrong for you to start to have sex before you were married.  You have a daughter, you are acting like you are married.  You should get married this week, not within five years.  You do not have to do a great big ceremony... you need to complete the covenant and fully honor God in your relationship.  There is no reason to wait.

Hebrews 13:4
4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.


And yes, sex outside of marriage is a sin called fornication and it is always wrong.

1 Corinthians 6:18
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don