Expert: Susan Milillo - 5/15/2009

Question
hi there i met this girl named megan at my church about 3 weeks ago we see each other online and on sundays and i told her i dont want a girl friend until im 18+ online she asked me why i dont want a girl fiiend until im 18+ and then she told me she wasnt a virgin (i have a purity ring) and i think she might be trying to lure me in and she is asking me if i think she is a slut and she is telling me that everyone is calling her a slut, bitch, fat, ugly etc and after that she told me she is taking heroin i want to help her and i dont want to be tempted in to having sex before marriage or drugs is there any bible verses i could tell her? or something useful i could do

Answer
Hello Daniel,

   Hmmm. Well - honestly, I think you are not the best person to help her. Not that you can't be A help to her. But I believe girls need older women (who are also mature in the faith, of course) to look up to as role models, and to be taught and encouraged and molded by.   
   If you try too much to be her 'help', you could potentially be lured in to an inappropriate situation -- can happen when people get emotionally involved - even if one person is just trying to help the other.  And you alluded to that - sometimes guys and girls get talking about relationships just to talk about them, and sometimes because one of them is thinking that they might like to have it be more.  I guess I'm wondering, why does it matter to her what your opinion of her is, as a woman ? You know what I mean ?
    I think the best thing you can do for her is to be a friend, but keep a distance too, and if you know of a mature Christian WOMAN who both of you know, or even just one of you knows, talk to that woman and recommend the two of them getting together for a cup of coffee.
    Does this make sense? I'm praying for God's wisdom in responding to your question.   May God give YOU great discernment and wisdom, and continued steadfastness in your devotion to Him and to your personal purity. Good job with that!!   :-)

Sincerely,
S.M.