Expert: Carl Fuglein - 5/12/2009

Question
I've received Christian-based education since my childhood and that's the best thing in life, and, moreover, I read the bible a lot. But there's something I'd like to know. Can you tell me exactly something about pussy licking? What's the Bible's standpoint on that?
I teach in a sunday school in my church and the youth raised that question last time.
I'm 33, I'm a teachng assistant.
Thanks, God bless you.

Answer
Hi Komla-

First of all, when asked a question like that, I hope you didn't act shocked or surprised.  Teens, and even tweeners, know far more about sex at their age than you or I did.  Sex is plastered on billboards, in music, TV, and videos.  Even shows aimed at teens have everyone sleeping with everyone else.  I think it's the beginning of the downfall of society, but we can do something - we can educate our young people about sexually transmitted disease, the emotional baggage that having sex causes, and, as Christians, the spiritual significance of having sex prior to marriage.

As for your question, the Bible is non specific and does not mention fellatio or cunnilingus (dictionary references below) explicitly in the Bible.  There are some references in Song of Solomon that some people use for fellatio.  I don't necessarily reject it, but not sure that I really buy into it, either.

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fel-la-ti-o  /fəˈleɪʃiˌoʊ, -ˈlɑtiˌoʊ, fɛ-/  Show Spelled Pronunciation [fuh-ley-shee-oh, -lah-tee-oh, fe-]  Show IPA
–noun oral stimulation of the penis, esp. to orgasm.

cun-ni-lin-gus  /ˌkʌnlˈɪŋgəs/  Show Spelled Pronunciation [kuhn-l-ing-guhs]  Show IPA
–noun the act or practice of orally stimulating the female genitals.
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So, since it's not in the Bible, then it's not a sin, right?  Well, that's probably the argument that the teens might buy into to, but it's not right.  Some people will argue that oral sex is not sex, but despite our beloved President Clinton's assertation that he did not have sex with that woman, we all know he did, and we all know (including the teens deep down in their heads) that oral sex is indeed sex.  Some people will also go so far to say that oral sex is wrong period, but I believe that most people would agree that it's okay inside of marriage.

What do you tell the teens?  You tell them that God gave humankind sex for a couple reasons  - for a man and woman to cling together, and for man and woman to procreate the race.  But sex is reserved for married couples.  And sex outside marriage is a no-no - it's even covered in the Ten Commandments, not once, but twice - Thou shalt not commit adultery, and thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (and common belief would say husband, too).

Sex outside of marriage carries all sorts of guilt.  It's a sin.  It can be dangerous - if you have sex with someone who was had sex with someone else, you're sleeping with both of them, and if you do it with two people who have also done it with two people, it's almost a statistical impossibility to NOT have an STD.  HIV is real.  HIV and other STDS will most certainly be transmitted by pussy licking.  Sex outside of marriage carries emotional baggage, too - if you have sex before marriage, then marry someone else - your first partner and others will be in your mind during your honeymoon.  Yet if you are both virgins when you get married, there is ZERO chance of STDS, and there is ZERO chance of emotional or spiritual baggage.

Will God forgive this sin?  Of course He will, he will forgive every sin.

Hope this helps.  Please tell me how the question was answered, and what you think about my answer as well.

blessings,
carl

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Oral sex within marriage is neither good nor bad - if both partners enjoy it, then do it.  If one partner does NOT enjoy it, then the other partner must respect the other and not do it.  This may cause tension within the relationship.

hope this helps,

Carl