Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 6/28/2009

Question
I have a 16 year-old son who says he is bi-sexual and has an online 'boyfriend,' who is communicating with through his PSP.
Should we take the PSP away? He can only get internet connection in a corner of his room. He had an online girlfriend before but says he didn't connect as much with her.

Answer
Hi Marilyn,

Thank you for this great question.  I am very sorry for my late response.  I do not believe that taking the PSP is a priority move here.  If he has been misusing it regarding your house rules... by all means take it away.  The PSP is not making him consider homosexuality or bisexuality, it is simply a convenient way for him to explore these dark desires.

The first thing your son needs is an open relationship with you where he can feel free to explain to you his thinking and where you can openly and honestly from the Bible explain what he is going through.  If you cannot do that, you need to get him to a youth pastor or pastor that can.

Here is what we know about this sin:

1.  It is a learned appetite... a choice, not a genetic inevitability.  It comes as people reject truth about God and His creation, and the moral boundaries He has put into place.  Once a person starts to open that door of fantasy and lust, God allows that lust to consume him.

Romans 1:26-27
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  The more he develops a taste for this sinful lust, the more that lust will consume him, changing his natural desires to unnatural desires.

John 8:32,34
32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you,  Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I also suggest a great website, www.sbministries.org   Steven Bennett is a man who was saved out of homosexuality and now is married serving God as a pastor.  He has a lot of insight into situations like yours.

I hope that this helps.

In Christ
Pastor Don