Expert: Dr Tim Gladu - 7/29/2009

Question
hello i am 13 and i am strict against dating i do not want to i have a purity ring i have made a pledge but i have 3 girls after me i constantly try to explain to them that i want to save my heart for my future wife i will date when i am 18+ and when im ready but they say they will date me for 10 minutes even now i see a whole bunch of temptation in this and so far i am doing pretty well but i am un sure if this fort will hold for the next 5 years is there any advice you could give me? thanks

Answer
Daniel,
I have to say that at 13 you should not even be thinking of dating. I would recommend that if this is truly a problem to enlist the help of your parents. They can help you to stay on tract because they love you and want you to be happy. I would also just tell these girls that you are just not interested in one on one dating but would be willing to go out with a group. You will find that if you go out in groups there is less chance that you will even have the chance to do something that you will regret for the rest of your life. You have this precious gift that you can only give once and it is meant for you future wife. She is waiting for you in the future and I am sure that she wants you to stay pure for her. If these girls are just wanting to mess around then they can do that with someone else. You just need to keep your focus on what God has promised for you in the future.  I am going to give you some verses that I hope will help you stay on the right path. If you want to the ones that have real meaning for you print them out and keep them close or posted where you have to look at them each day. If you refresh your walk with Christ daily then you will have the armor of God to protect you in the times when you feel you will stumble or fall.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)
Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. (Ecclesiastes 11:9)

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life. (Proverbs 4:13)

My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. (Proverbs 3:21-24)

My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. (Proverbs 6:20-22)

Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. (Proverbs 19:20)

My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. (Proverbs 23:15-16)

Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path. (Proverbs 23:19)

My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways. (Proverbs 23:26)

Be wise, my son, and bring joy to my heart. (Proverbs 27:11)

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."  (1 Corinthians 15:33)

My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them. (Proverbs 1:10)

Honor your father and mother... so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. (Ephesians 6:2)

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (Colossians 3:20)

May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice! (Proverbs 23:25)

Since my youth, 0 God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. (Psalm 71:17)

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. (Psalm 119:9)