Expert: Dr Tim Gladu - 7/28/2009

Question
Hello Mr. Gladu

my name is Lisa and I've been in Christ for two years now.
It has never been a problem for me serving the good Lord!
I recently got a new job at a restaurant. They say everything happens for a reason, so I met a really nice great and funny guy.
I've been so "busy" with church and all, that there was no room for falling in love, until a few weeks ago.
And I know that love is from God, but he's not a believer, doesn't go to church and I don't think he believes in God at all.

But aside from that he has a great personality. What should I do?
Should I ignore my feelings or should I take a chance and go for it!

HELP!
greetings -confused girl from Holland-
Lisa

Answer
Lisa,
When dealing with matters of the heart we must be careful. I caution you not to get involved with someone who is not a believer. If he does not believe in God then his moral compass will be completely opposite from you. He will not see things the way you do at all. If you reference the Bible or God this may cause him to become hostile and not even want to discuss it with you. The non-believer just does not see the world the way you do and when you are talking about marriage and family you should not be unequally yoked. I know this sound like an old term but it is so relevant for this situation.  I have to recommend that you find out for sure before you go any further. He may be a great guy for now but in the long run you will find that you will have major difficulties with most of your decisions in the marriage and may end up splitting because you just are unable to solve most of your issues because he sees things in a completely different way.  If he is open and not closed off to the idea that there is a God and you believe completely and he could be a believer then you can keep that possibility open. If he is completely closed to the idea that God exists then I would say that you just let him know that you can be friends but nothing else. In the end you have to live with the decision but this is just coming from years and many different situations where people enter into marriage thinking they can change this person then are old and this person has never changed and they missed the person God really intended for them.