Expert: Carl Fuglein - 7/24/2009

Question
I started having sex at a very young at. I was just 13. I'm almost 16 now and have found God within the last year. I was still dating the guy i lost my virginity to when i found the lord and broke up with him because of the temptations. I haven't had sex in 7 months now but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still very deeply in love with my ex. Our relationship wasn't just physical. I really want to get back together with him but i dont think we can both restrain from sex since we have been active together for the last 3 years it just seems like a normal thing. Is it wrong to keep doing it? I'm in love with him and want to marry him when im older even though that doesnt seem plausable considering our age but he really is my best friend and we have already committed the act so is it still wrong?

Answer
Amanda-

You know the answer to your own question.  Of course it's wrong to keep having sex.  Just because you already did it doesn't give you a pass to do it again.  When you ask for forgiveness, you're supposed to try not to do it again.  Once you become sexually active, it's extremely difficult to not continue, but you have to try very hard not to do it any more.  The first step is to NOT get back with your boyfriend.  By your own admission, you broke off with him due to temptation.  By getting back with him, all you're doing is giving into that temptation.

At age 16, you don't have the emotional or mental stability to really understand what love is.  I know it seems like it, but you just don't.  NO teen does.  You need to date other guys and make some other friends and just put your relationship on hold.  If it's real, it will still be there when you're 18 or 19 and possibly could get married.  But now is not the time.

Hope this helps.  I know it's not the answer you wanted, but I cannot tell tell you that what you're doing is okay, because it's just not.

blessings,
carl