Expert: Brenda Martin - 8/8/2009

Question
Hi Brenda,

Sometimes I go to the sauna.From time to time it happens that another boy is touching my penis,and starts stroking it,and I enjoy it,and don't mind.Don't want to have oral sex,or anything like that.Nothing else happens,as I don't want it to.Sometimes he kisses me,and gives me a massage.Would that be sexual immorality?.Know that in some cultures this is not frowned up on.The islands in the Pacific have men that act like females,this is accepted by just anyone,and most of them going to church.Looking forward to your reply!.

Answer
How Does God View Homosexuality?

Today, many people—even some clergymen—soft-pedal the issue of homosexuality. Yet, God’s Word, the Bible, leaves no room for confusion. It tells us that God made man and woman and that he purposed for sexual desires to be fulfilled only between a husband and a wife. (Genesis 1:27, 28; 2:24) It comes as no surprise, then, that the Bible condemns homosexual acts.—Romans 1:26, 27.

Some would say that God’s Word is out-of-date. But why, do you think, are they so quick to make that claim? Could it be because the Bible’s view conflicts with their own? Many reject God’s Word simply because it teaches something different from what they want to believe. That view is biased, though, and we should rise above such closed-minded thinking!

But what if you feel attracted to a member of the same sex? Does this automatically mean that you’re a homosexual? No. Remember, you’re in “the bloom of youth,” a period when you’re subject to involuntary sexual arousal. (1 Corinthians 7:36) If at times you feel an attraction to a member of the same sex, be assured that this doesn’t mean that you’re gay. Such inclinations usually fade with time. Meanwhile, you must keep from getting involved in homosexual practices. How?

Pray about the matter. Implore Jehovah as David did: “Search through me, O God, and know my heart. Examine me, and know my disquieting thoughts, and see whether there is in me any painful way, and lead me in the way of time indefinite.” (Psalm 139:23, 24) Jehovah can fortify you with a peace that “excels all thought.” This can ‘guard your heart and your mental powers’ and give you “power beyond what is normal” to keep from acting on wrong desires.—Philippians 4:6, 7; 2 Corinthians 4:7.

Fill your mind with upbuilding thoughts. (Philippians 4:8) Read the Bible daily. Never underestimate its power to shape your mind and heart for good. (Hebrews 4:12) A young man named Jason says: “The Bible—including such scriptures as 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10 and Ephesians 5:3—has had a powerful effect on me. I read these scriptures whenever wrong desires occur.”
Shun pornography and gay propaganda. (Colossians 3:5) Avoid anything that will arouse immoral desires. This would include pornography, certain TV shows and movies, and perhaps even fashion or bodybuilding magazines that feature lightly clad models. Change negative thoughts to positive ones. “Whenever I have homosexual urges,” says one teenage boy, “I meditate on my favorite Bible text.”

Of course, some claim that there’s no point in doing all this, that you should simply ‘embrace your sexuality’ and ‘accept who you are.’ But the Bible says that you can do better than that! It tells us, for example, that some early Christians who had formerly practiced homosexuality changed. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) You too can win the battle—even if at this point it’s only being waged in your heart.

What if same-sex desires persist? Do not give in to them! Jehovah condemns homosexual acts. Thus, the person who struggles with same-sex desires is presented with a reachable goal—he or she can choose not to act on those desires.

To illustrate: A person might be “disposed to rage.” (Proverbs 29:22) In the past he may have freely given in to fits of anger. After studying the Bible, though, he becomes aware of the need to develop self-control. Does this mean that he’ll never again feel anger welling up inside him? No. However, because he knows what the Bible says about uncontrolled anger, he will strive hard not to succumb to his feelings.

It’s similar with a person who is attracted to others of the same sex but who has now come to learn what the Bible says about homosexual practices. On occasion, an improper desire may still present itself. But by viewing homosexuality the way Jehovah views it, a person can find the strength to resist that desire.

Don’t Give Up!

If you struggle with same-sex desires, you might feel as did one young man, who said: “I’ve tried to change my feelings. I’ve prayed to Jehovah for help. I read the Bible. I’ve heard talks on the subject. But I don’t know where to turn.”

If you’re in a similar situation, you clearly have a real fight on your hands. There’s no easy cure. Nevertheless, anyone who desires to please God must conform to His moral standards and shun immoral behavior, even though doing so may be agonizingly difficult. Never forget that God understands the struggle you have in your heart and that he has compassion for those who serve him. (1 John 3:19, 20) When you obey God’s commandments, you open the way for receiving his blessing. In fact, in the keeping of God’s commands, “there is a large reward.” (Psalm 19:11) Even now, you’ll enjoy the best way of life possible in this troubled world.

So rely on God, and fight against wrong desires. (Galatians 6:9) Strive to “abhor what is wicked” and “cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9) With time and effort, you are likely to find that the wrong desires diminish. Best of all, by avoiding homosexual practices, you’ll have the prospect of living forever in God’s righteous new world.

all the best
Brenda