Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 9/17/2009

Question
Hello
I'm 21 and having the problem that many youths are having.I have a very good and healthy relationship with God.I have a great call of God upon my life and like Paul,I think I can say I'm not disobedient to the heavenly vision.Like we all know it doesn't cancel out life's challenges.Here's my problem:
    Being a youth,I still have issues regarding temptation as regards to the opposite sex.Before I got saved,I was deeply involved in pornography and even after getting saved(2 years ago),I won't say I have overcome completely but God gave me a formula which is purely based on the word of God and it's working.I understand the concept of Grace very well and it has helped me in overcoming this giant.
My major issue is,following God's call in my life has made me change enviroment.I'm African but 10 months ago I moved to Europe and I'm studying at the moment here.While I was in Africa,my general issues with sexual temptation was basically restricted.The temptation was not strong because that is where I was born and the enviroment was natural for me.Of course there was that normal attraction to the opposite sex once in a while but it was perfectly within the limit of my control.
Moving over to Europe,the whole thing has really become crazy.In Africa,almost everybody in the city is a christian(atleast attends church),so people still try to be at least morally minded.Here in europe it is completely the opposite.There is thick spiritual darkness,sex is worshipped by Youths and adults and It is so difficult to live here as a christian.I'm not scared though cos I know that greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world.The issue is that Indecent dressing as well as the looseness of  youths in this place is really crazy.I have never been faced with such immorality and everyday I battle just like Paul to mortify my flesh.I feel like Lot as Peter described in his epistle being tortored by the immorality in his days.
It seems I'm not asking questions right?Just be patient please.I'm African and the average marriage age for men is somewhere around 27.We don't marry very early so I can't really date at the moment.Moreover,there are few born agains in this place.My biggest problem is that I'm a sweet talker and can easily flow with girls.I believe this makes the situation worse for me but of course I can't stop talking to them.Please where can I channel all the sexual tension that builds up from within to.I don't want to ask God to take away my sexual feelings cos they are natural and I don't want to feel abnormal.
I thought about being friends with a couple of girls here but the holy spirit seems not to be in agreement.
The indecent dressing in this place is the worst I've seen in my whole life and even though I'm sure I won't succumb to sexual temptation,It just puts me under tension every minute of the day.Please how can I deal with this tension and do you think it is ok if I can just be a friend to any of this people.I'll be glad to get a good reply.

Answer
Hello Godwin,

Thank you for this great question.  I am very sorry for my late response.  You are doing what you are supposed to.  I thank God for your commitment to purity.  Here are a few more things that may help you.

1.  Get to a Bible believing church.  Find some men to fellowship with.  Occupy your time with the friendship of Godly men who have the same desires you do.  They will help you along in your commitment.

Hebrews 10:24-25
24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  Friendship with born again ladies is a great idea.  Develop friendships, not romantic interests.  This will help you develop good relationship skills on a Godly level.

3.  Your ideal not to date is a good one!  When you do date, don't touch at all until you get married.  If you start to hug, kiss and more, you will start a fire that will burn inside you and it will be very hard to remain pure.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2


Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

4.  Keep believing that God has a perfect bride for you.  Trust Him to love you enough to help you find her in time.

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this is a help to you.

In Christ
Pastor Don