Expert: Susan Milillo - 9/7/2009

Question
I dated This guy for a year and 7 months. We had a great relationship and we got too close that we committed fornication. Even though that happened he still wanted to be with me and I did too we were planning on getting married and serving god together. Through our relationship we have had so many obstacles like there has been problems with his mom not liking me and wanting this other girl to be with him and well she wanted to be with him a long time ago. But what I did was I prayed to god and told him if that guy is for me to put him in my life and a week later he asked me out. I was thankful and everyday I told god how happy I was that he brought me him to my life. But as we kept on going our relationship started to be all about sex we had lost our communication and we would argue a lot. But we still loved eachother. So we finally decided to stop being sexually active and decided that we should stop before things get worse. Me and my boyfriend decided to grow spiritual with god because we realized that we were departing ourselves from god so we did what we had to do. In the end of July of 2009 I went to church for a regular church service and I was going to pray when the youth girls invited me to pray with them and we did a wheel and prayed together. But then they started saying in the name of Jesus and started beating me and hitting me, then a lady who prophesied that night grabed me by my neck and started hitting me in my breast and all over my body. While that was going on I felt scared and I wanted to get out of there but something was holding me back! Later on when things calmed down. I got up from the floor and I saw that lady sitting down calling people one by one she told this other lady that when she got baptized she didn't believe in it so there for she had to get rebaptized so she got baptized again. And then she told this girl who's husband is not in church that if he didn't come to church the sunday after that one that her husbands blood was going to be in her hands. Then she called my sister and my sister is only 2 years old one of her ears wasn't develord but she was already scheduled for a surgery when she is 7 and the lady started saying you are going to be healed then she put her hand in her ear but nothing happened and then she told my boyfriends brother that he belongs with her daughter and that he also needed to cut his hair off. Since he has braids. And then she told the girl who's always wanted to be with my boyfriend that she doesn't love her boyfriend and that her boyfriend just wants to hurt her and that wasn't true. He didn't want to hurt her but that girl never loved him she just used him to forget about my boyfriend. So then she calls me and tells me you have to forgive him because he's not for you and it broke my heart and I was thinking and crying how could this happen. So later on that day my boyfriend tells me that he just wants to wait because he loves me and he doesn't want to let me go but we were both so confused and later on I went to go talk to him and he told me that we should take a break because of the confusion and what we were going through. I missed him while we took the break and I went to talk to him one night and he told me karen god did this because you did something unfaithful and I never did anything so I told him what are you talking about, and he said I don't believe you were a virgin when we had sex because you didn't bleed and it wasn't tight and I told him that I was and I was crying because a long time ago when I was 10 I suffered from irregular menstrual periods and the doctors took my virginity by inserting a tool to check if I had any cysts in my tubes and I told him that and he believed me but now he doesn't. I talked to a pastor and he knew that this whole situation was going to happen. Before all of this happened I went to visit his church and that night he told me its jealousy. And I didn't understand but now that all of this happened I understand. So after me and my ex had that argument he stoped talking to me I kept on calling him he never answered and then he finally did he apologized for what he said and told me to just be patient and wait to see if were meant to be. And I did as he said. Later on my new church was going to the tenessee youth congress in nashville and I decided to go, on our way there I decided to call my ex and see how he was doing but he kept on hanging up on me I called him from different numbers and he didn't answer, later on I texted him friend and he told me I don't know karen but the pastors wife said that god told her that the only reason why god did all of this is because you were cheating on your boyfriend and having sex with another guy at a club. When I heard this I fell into more confusion because I never did this and I know my god will never lie about me so now he hasn't called me I haven't seen him its like he died. And I feel confused I pray to god every night that he can open my exs mind and ears so he can hear the truth and he can realize all of that was a lie. Everyone seems to believe it because my exs brother is talking to the prophets daughter and they are planning on going out but there are some things that she said that didn't come true like she said all the people that left the church are going to come back and they haven't came, my mom talked to one of the lady that left and she said she's happy at the church she's assisting and I'm wondering could god say somethings that are true and some that don't come true. I started school and I don't have a lot of friends my best friends gave me their back they don't talk to me anymore. I used to go to church with them. I heard from one of them that the pastor told all the youth girls in a meeting and he told them all of my supposedly past life and what I did and that they shouldn't have a conversation with me if they saw me just say hi and leave. And it hurts because they have me labeled as the bad person and that I'm a bad influence for their girls and I'm really not a bad person I make mistakes but I never induce or tell others to make the same mistakes I learn from my mistakes and I use them as testimonies. U hear that their church is growing and everthing is better for them. And I feel like I'm the only one who suffers and think about this wholen situation the only one who hasn't moved on, but everyone is so happy and prospering and I'm here still falling in love with my ex and I don't know if he feels the same way, he doesn't talk to the girl who he's supposed to be with. I hope you can help me with this situation and help me get out of confusion because I know that god is not the author of confusion. Thank you for your help and I'm happy I found this website. God bless you.

Answer
Dear Karen,

   My heart goes out to you so much in all you have been experiencing, and it's obvious that your heart is for the Lord.  I hope and pray I give you some words that will help you in your situation.

   This prophet woman is NOT of God.   In Deuteronomy 18:21-22, there is the test of a true prophet. If what they prophesy does not come true, then they are not speaking of God.   You know, even demonic prophesies can come true sometimes, but they are not always fulfilled. God's prophecies come true every time.   So don't go anywhere near this woman.   And was she involved with this situation where you were praying and then all of a sudden you got beaten up ?  That is worlds away from the heart and teachings of Jesus, whoever beat you up like this.  It is absolutely horrendous.  If all of this is going on in your church, I sincerely recommend that you find a new church.     It's best not to put too much emphasis on all the 'prophesy' stuff. God has given us His Word, and that's enough to keep us active for Him without worrying about all this subjective stuff. No one can tell you what guy is for you or not for you.   

    Rise above all this in confidence of God's consistent truthfulness, His unconditional neverending, compassionate LOVE, and keep seeking His face.

Please feel free to write again. I would love to help with anything I have neglected to address.

With Love in the Lord,
Susan M.