Expert: Carl Fuglein - 1/25/2010

Question
Hi, I don't know if you will remember me but my name is Derrick. My step-brother was the one who always beat me up and called me names. A few days after I wrote you my step-bro and I got in an argument which escalated to him trying to beat me up in front of his friends. They all got mad at him and went to my side. Things cooled down, I mean he wasn't trying to beat me up, he didn't call me any names, he just didn't talk to me and gave me dirty looks. This went on for weeks, I think that I wrote you in November and he didn't say anything to me until it was December.

Even though my step-bro wasn't calling me a fag anymore I was still kind of nervous because of all the tension. Then one day, like 2 days before Christmas, I wake up at midnight or so and see him sitting in a chair in my room. He was crying and he says that he was under a lot of pressure and he was sorry. So then he tells me that he was bisexual and that night somehow we ended up jacking off together but we never touched each other. It was really strange how we went from hating each other to doing that. After we were done, he says "I can never call you a fag again" or something like that. We never did that again.

So now we get along but things are weird, it's hard to put into words. It's like he is always around me and I have found out that his personality even when he is nice is not fitting with mine. I don't know how I can get some time to myself without going back to the situation we had before.  

Answer
I remember you Derrick.

Wow.  From calling you a fag to jacking off with you.  That's a stretch, but not one that is difficult to explain.  It's called "projection".  He calls YOU a fag, because he IS one.  He deflects questions about his sexuality onto you.

So now he's come out of the closet and is all buddy buddy with you.  You need to do three things:  Tell him to give you some space because you want to be alone; Never jack off with him again; and pray for him.  And remember, just becaus he's bi-sexual doesn't mean you are.

It should be easier for him to give you space than for him to bully you, but you may need to get your parents involved.  You don't have to tell them about the sex, but you do have to tell them that you want some space.

Blessings,
Carl