Expert: Carl Fuglein - 10/14/2010

Question
Hello. Just a few days ago, I got a message that a girl from
church likes me. I like her too, but there is one thing that
bothers me..she is 17 and has a kid. I'm only 16 though, but
just a few days younger than her. Her and I both know that
having sex before marriage is wrong. She regrets the
decision, and upon becoming a Christian last week, asked God
to forgive her for it. She is deeply sorry about her past,
and she and I feel that God has forgiven her. I am still a
virgin, and plan on being until marriage, but is it a sin
for ME to go out with her because she is sexually immoral? I
want to know what the Bible says about marrying a sexually
immoral person, because if it happens that we decide to get
married, I want to know if it's a sin to marry and have sex
with someone who has already had sex outside of marriage.

Answer
Hi Zack

Thanks for writing.

You said:   upon becoming a Christian last week, asked God
to forgive her for it. She is deeply sorry about her past,
and she and I feel that God has forgiven her.

think about that - if you think that God has forgiven her, don't you think that her sexual immorality has been washed away?


I'm deeply troubled by this statement from you:  

is it a sin for ME to go out with her because she is sexually immoral?

Zack, if God has forgiven her, she is no longer sexually immoral.  If you can't believe that her sin has been totally washed away to the point that God has forgotten it, why do YOU hold on to it?  Once forgiven for a sin, the sin goes away!


If you can't get past this, then you shouldn't be dating her.  You have to forget all about the past and love her and her child.  You have to forget how that child came to be and accept is a gift from God.


I hope this is clear.  Marrying her is not a sin.  Even though her sin has been forgiven, even if it hadn't been forgiven, it wouldn't be your sin anyway - it would be hers.  But it's been forgiven, so it's a moot point.

Blessings,

carl