Expert: Susan Milillo - 3/25/2010

Question
QUESTION: I have a best friend that I love dearly. She's a fellow believer, and she's such a nice girl. However, today, I got some...devastating news from my teacher. At least to me, it was. She has been lying to me, to the teachers, to everyone. My teachers believe (I attend a Christian school) and I believe that a spirit is attacking her and her mind, and I don't think she knows it. The worst part for me is, I thought I had been helping and protecting her, but I have not been helping at all. She says that she's never hungry during lunch time, and that she eats at home. However, the truth is she doesn't eat for days and then  gorges herself. Her mother had approached me about it. While I have seen her eat, I also have seen her...well, not eat. She's constantly sick, and I think it's because she doesn't eat like she should. That, and she's an overthinker. She thinks too much, and she's has anxiety problems, several phobias, as well as insomnia. She is such a talented artist, but I see her draw such demonic things. All of this started last year, and I worried about it, but I left it alone. When I found she wasn't eating like she should, I worried again, but she convinced me that she was fine and it was just because she has many stomach problems, and I defended her when people asked about it. Maybe she is allergic to some things, or maybe it's just in her head, or maybe she's just flat lying. She's told me herself that she would never lie to me. I feel so terrible that I saw what was happening (not all of it, but some) and I didn't do anything about it, and I feel so sad and betrayed that she lied to me. She dislikes depending on other people for help, and I understand that, but...I don't know if I can trust her to her words anymore. Maybe she believes that she really is fine and that nothing is wrong. The mind is an extremely powerful thing. I just don't know what to do.
    What can I do to help her? Can I still be best friends with her? Can I trust her? I love her so dearly. What do I do when I see her again? I can't confront her straight up about this because I know she will immediately defend herself. I cried so much today. Satan and the world already took away my first best friend, and I don't want them to take away this one.

ANSWER: Dear Michelle,

   Well, it is true, that God's enemy Satan and his demons are always intent on attacking those whom God loves and has called.  Try not to read anything into the pictures she draws necessarily, or her other problems as a sign of any particular demonic posession or anything like that (not that you used that word) I don't think there is enough evidence. Maybe she is Opressed by Satan, that is way too common, is it not ?!
   Is she away for the time being, in a treatment facility or something ? Is this how you know that what your teacher told you is true ?
    Whatever else, it sounds like she has some deep emotional issues that need to be dealt with, and yes you are right , the mind is powerful and can deceive even ones own self. If she was not capable of telling herself the truth, she wouldn't be very capable of telling you the truth either.
    I would say definitely keep her as your best friend. . . Even more, flesh out what friendship is to her. 'Be Jesus' to her. Show her that you accept her with her problems and that you are there for her. Tell her you were hurt by her lack of openness with you (if you are SURE that there is an acknowledged problem now), but that you forgive her and want to do whatever you can to help her be happier and more the person God sees her as.

         Thanks for sharing with me. Please keep in touch.
Love in Jesus,
Susan M.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: She's not possessed or anything extreme like that. I never thought of it as that and my teacher reassured me of it. What my teacher means by "attack" is,  like you said, oppression. I didn't mean it like that. You know about how Satan has power to have an effect on our lives, and I think he created a circumstance that I'm not aware of and made use of her...I want to say thoughtfulness, but that doesn't really fit...well, how much she overthinks to cause a problem. She wasn't like this when I first met her. Then all of the sudden she's scared of this, and then of that, and fear is not of God. Then she's not eating as much, and she suffers from insomnia and anxiety problems that weren't there before, and then she started being disrespectful and disobedient to teachers, which she never was at first (maybe this is the teenage mentality of rebellion though). I know she could do something great for God, and he knows it too, and I think he's trying to stop her from ever doing that great thing by trying to knock her down and pull her away from God.

Her mom's account and my teacher's account of Jennifer match, and I've been seeing some of it, too. She isn't aware I know of the situation, and I don't think she sees a problem. She had been very sick (again) and missed two days of school. I was informed on one the days she was absent. I see your reasoning, though. I also think she has emotional issues, and I've been praying and praying continuously about it, and I feel that she needs someone to help and encourage her right now because of whatever problems she's going through, especially the ones I may not know of.

I think my prayers for her are starting to pay off already though.  She had said she didn't want to pray anymore because bad things happen when she does. I kept in contact with her during her absence and told her that we at the school were praying for her. She had been putting Facebook posts about how quickly she had been recovering and told me of how surprised she was by it. I told her it was because of prayer. Today, she came to school, and God had something to say to her, and it came through our daily devotion, our chapel lesson, and even a song she came across. She believes He's trying to speak to her, and she's taking it to heart. I'm confident that the Lord is helping her and will continue to.

Answer
Dear Michelle,

It sounds like you are looking at the situation absolutely right.  And your love and concern for your friend are honoring to God.   Just hang in there and keep praying and loving.  When you get a chance, share with her your feelings of hurt/ what honesty means to your friendship. But assure her that you will continue to love her and pray for her. Prayer works !!   Because God truly WORKS through it.

    Hang in there,
        Love, Susan M.