Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 3/17/2010

Question
QUESTION: dear pastor
does honouring parents mean 100%obedience

ANSWER: Hi Leja,

Thank you so much for this great question.

Ephesians 6:1-2

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

We are commanded to obey AND honor.  Obedience is simply doing what they tell us to do unless it is obviously against scripture.  Honor is doing what they say with a submissive and sweet attitude.  God has promised that our lives will be better if you obey our parents... in the long run it will be better even though we may be upset at the time.

The only time that this may be up for discussion would be if your parents are telling you do do something unbiblical or illegal.  For example if your parents were sexually abusing you and telling you to not tell anyone, then you by no means need to obey them!  Tell someone and let God deliver you if that is the case.

I hope that this is a help to you.

In Christ
Pastor Don

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thank you Pastor,if a child of 20 yrs &above do  a thing which parents dont appove of is it wrong ?(a thing/decision which the bible doesnt speak against,i belong to very conservative family)

Answer
Hi Leja,

Thank you for this great question.  We do live in a society that says that once a child is 18, he or she can act as an adult.  The Bible does not have that limit.  Technically, the Bible example is that a daughter goes from being under the authority of her father until her father transfers his authority to her husband at marriage.    We are not given that absolute mandate, but it is our example.  I think that if you are still living under your parent's roof and they are still providing for you food, shelter, insurance, etc.  You should follow their wishes as much as possible.  This will just help you to live in harmony.  If your wings are growing so large that you can no longer stretch them out in your home, perhaps it is time for you to move out on your own.


I hope that this gives you something to work with.  I hope it helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don