Expert: Carl Fuglein - 3/2/2010

Question
QUESTION: Dear sir,
almost a year back i had a terrible loss in my life,shattering many of my dreams.the minute i came to know about it was incredible,,i was utterly sad & hopeless,i just blamed my destiny(fate),i thought why did god do like this to me (because i think iwas sincere in that case).But i never asked in prayer Why did god do like this just because i know that i dont have the right to question god. even after this incident i pray &read bible everyday as before itself.an outsider can find no difference but i know that i dont have a loving relation with god as before ,my prayer finishes in few seconds, i doubt if it reaches heaven and bible reading confined to psalms ,a reason for my short prayer is i feel god is reluctant so everything will happen onlyas he has planned ,then why pray?the feelings of guiltyness after doing a sin is slighting  reducing.i do these just because i still need his protection and more over i am accustumed to it.And the only contents of my is thank you for protecting me in my journey today i know the loss was his will,i have no say and it may be good.i know he is more important than my success and happiness.i dont want to spoil my relation with god,aleast maintain the earlier status i am sad on this matter too, i know i have lost the fruit of my toil i dont think i can regain it or easily be comforted ,but i wish i could improve my relation with god atleast a bit ,a level where i wont feel this guilty.i am fedup with these thoughts its weighing on my spiritual life. A year has passed still i am sad and faces many  consequences  due to that loss and a feeling of being cut out from the mainstream of faith.could you give me a reply that can atleast slightly improve my present spiritual state.Thanks

ANSWER: Leja-

all of us grieve differently.  It sounds like you're still grieving.  I think what you should be praying for is for God to lift the grief from you and allow you to get on with your life.  I'm terribly sorry that whatever happened happened.  I think you are doing the right thing by reading the Psalms - these were mostly written by David - they are both songs and prayers, crying out to God and trying to understand life.  You have a good attitude that God protects you in your daily journey.  I think your relationship with God is probably better than you think.  God knows your grief, and I'm sure He grieves with you.  I can't improve your spiritual state - only you can do that.

blessings,
carl


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi sir,
the only think i dont understand in your reply is -god grieves with me,it has happened only with his knowledge/permission,may be he wanted to give a slight punishment why should he be sad??

Answer
Leja-

I think you're confusing these two things:  God CAUSING something to happen, and God ALLOWING something to happen.  God is master of the Universe and nothing can happen without His permission.But sometimes He might allow something bad to happen (like Job), because He knows ultimately He will be glorified.  And when something bad happens to us, through our own stupid fault or by accident, we immediately BLAME God, when we we should be asking Him for guidance through the pain and suffering.  God allowed Jesus to be crucified, and He grieved just like you and I would.

I hope this helps.

blessings.
carl