Expert: Carl Fuglein - 4/25/2010

Question
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about two years now, and have remained celibate, only indulging in kissing one another. But recently, it's getting harder and harder to refrain from going farther. There's obviously sexual tension around both of us, and we don't know what to do - the other night, we went so far as to kind of rub each other through clothing - and after I felt like the Lord was disappointed in me, and I asked for his forgiveness many times. (We are both christian, btw)

And so, at night, I masturbate sometimes...which makes me feel like I've sinned, and that I'm dirty. But it's almost like I can't help it... I mean, what am I supposed to do? I've tried ignoring it - meditating, running, working out, ice cold showers, talking endlessly to the Lord, but honestly, it doesn't do much.

So I guess what I'm asking is what can I - or we - do to relieve sexual tension if we can't actively have sex, and masturbating is a sin? Is it /really/ a sin? I've heard that masturbation is actually good for you... if that's true, why is it going against the Lord?

Answer
Jay-

I'm in the hospital right now, and not on my regular computer.  I have a couple of essays that address your issues - you need to search my past answers for the key phrases, "How Far is Too Far?" and "Is Masturbation a sin."  I will be discharged later this week and I will answer your questions more thoroughly then, I just don't have to right info on hand right now, sorry.

Blessings,

Carl