Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 5/31/2010

Question
Hello. I have a problem and I don't know how to solve it. First let me start off by saying I'm a firm believer but I haven't always been and it was back when I had no faith that my problems. Started. I'm like most young men in the fact that I struggle with lust. But I I have other issues with it. I feel like every time I masturbate, I become cursed. Cursed as in I will never have a relationship with the person I was thinking of when I did it ( I tend to think about girls I know and like ). I am a virgin and I want to stay that way till marriage but I see masturbation as a crutch to make that possible. Ive been in one relationship and I feel like it was ended because I lusted after this girl. The saddest part is that iI fell in love with her. I feel tremendous guilt every time I do it and I can't stop myself. I feel like God has hated me since birth. Even said if I did it again, that I didn't want God to let someone as unclean as myself into heaven. Guess what I did not an hour later? I just want to know am truly forgiven? How do I stop? And does God really take away the people I lust after even though that's not the reason I like them? I know you're busy helping people like me but I would greatly appreciate it if you could offer me some guidance. Thank you for your time

Answer
Hi Wes,

Thanks for this great question.  I am sorry for this late response.  let me try and answer each one of your questions briefly and clearly.

1.  God will forgive you if you go to Him and ask for it.  Jesus became your sin when He was on the cross, so the price has ALREADY been paid for every time you will ever masturbate.  Just claim it and ask for forgiveness... it is there already.

2 Corinthians 5:21
21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

1 John 2:1-2


My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  We all struggle with sins of the flesh.  The type of temptation may differ from person to person, but we all fight the flesh.  The Apostle Paul, who wrote half of the New Testament, struggled with his fleshly desires too.  Look at what he wrote about that struggle:

Romans 7:14-25
14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.  16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. 17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?  25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

3.  If you suffer consequences for your sin, it is not to punish it is to motivate you to change your behavior.  It is not a curse... the curse of sin is death... God is your Father if you have trusted Jesus as your Savior.  Since He is your father, He takes a personal interest in your behavior.  He loves you enough to help you change.

Hebrews 12:5-8
5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

4.  Each hour, each day, each week you go without masturbating is a victory.  If you stumble, that does not take away your victories.  You simply need to stand up and fight the fight again.

Proverbs 24:16
16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

5.  Use your weapons to control your thinking.  Read the Bible, pray, and get to fellowship in church every time the doors are open.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;  
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Psalm 119:9-11
9 BETH. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.
10 With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.
11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Matthew 26:41
41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.


Hebrews 10:24-25
24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ,
Pastor Don