Expert: Carl Fuglein - 7/6/2010

Question
Okay, so I really need some help right now.  So I am a 15 year old sophomore.  I have a friend, and he is a 16 year old junior.  So we met in my freshman year and we became friends quite quickly.  Well, near the end of freshman year, I started developing feelings for him.  Later on, during this summer, he told me that he liked me.  So, I told him that I liked him too.  Well there's just one problem with that, I'm a christian and he's not.  I have been thinking about this for so long, and I just don't know if it would be right for me to date him, if and when it does come to this.  I pray about this every night, but I'm not sure if this is okay or not.  I am not that experience in this, is we did start dating, he would be my first boyfriend.  I have had crushes before, but this one seems really different.  I feel like we have a stronger connection because we were friends first.  Another thing is my sister and him don't get along at all.  Now that's because they are both really comitted to there work, and they got put in the same class, and, they just didn't agree.  I want to make sure that I do not go off the path of the Lord so please, help me!  It would really help.  Thank You.  :)

Answer
Hi Courtney,

It is a wise thought that you are questioning whether or not to date him.  Many church leaders and parents will tell you that it's not a good idea.  I'm not so sure.  The Bible verse that applies to this is (2 Cor 6:14 NLT):  "Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?"  The King James version says, "Do not be unevenly yoked with non believers/"

There are two major ways to look at this.  One is to say that we are not to have any contact with non-believers, and the other is to not be partnered in any way with non-belivers (in business or marriage).

If we use the first interpretation, that would prevent you from even talking to your friend which is so stupid - how can we talk to only believers?  If we didn't talk to non-believers, there would be no new Christians, and Christianity would eventually die out.

Go ahead and date him, but understand you can never marry him unless he became a believer.  And the best way to make him a beeliever is to spend time with him, talk about your faith, talk about the Bible, live your life the way you should as a good example to him.  And most importantly - invite him to go to church with you on a regular basis, so he can see that Christianity is not just rule and regulations, but a religion of love.

Hope this helps.

hugs,

carl