Expert: Jaycie - 7/15/2010

Question
QUESTION: ok im a christian and im 13 and my mom is really in the sex before marriage and like im pregnant and i cant tell her .the only way she wouldnt find out is if i get a abortion but i cant because its kiling a inncoent child and its a sin and im so confused will god hate me for the decion i make will he not like me will he ever forgive me

ANSWER: You already know that abortion is bad, as you said, so don't do it. You won't forgive yourself later on down the road. I'm not sure what happens to you spiritually when you do that but I know God wouldn't have asked us to not do it if it wasn't a bad thing. You need to talk to your mom. I know she might be mad at you but she will help you. There are places you can go to get help with the baby. There are also church leaders who will help you know what to do and what is best for you. Talk to them. Talk to all of them. Your mom needs to know. You can give the baby up for adoption if you want to, if you feel you can't take care of it. And at your age, that's what I recommend. This will be hard but it will be better for you and for your baby. Please talk to your mom and to your church leaders. Don't worry about what they will think. They will help you after you explain it all to them.

Please ask me again if you need anything else at all. I would be glad to help you through this and let you know what you can expect with keeping the baby. I wish you all the best. Good luck, Sweetie.

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QUESTION: ok i think i should keep the baby thats what everyone keeps telling me but mymom wil hate me she will kick me out the house and everything and im too young to handle this alone im really scared and i dont know what to do please help me

Answer
You still need to tell her what's going on. She will notice eventually because you will look different. Tell her exactly what happened and be totally honest with her. She probably will be upset so don't let that bother you. She's just going to be a little scared for you and worry about you. She wants you to be a little kid for as long as you can and this kind of ruined that. That's what she's feeling. Understand where she's coming from.

You can talk to the father of the baby if you haven't already. That might help.

Talk to a school counselor or something. Talk to your minister. There are people who will help you, even if it's not your mom right now. She will get over it and she will help you after a while but just give her time. She has to get used to the idea. Make sure you look into good adoption agencies and ask people, like the people I just mentioned, who would be best to work through. I don't think you will have a problem with finding someone to want your baby. There are millions of people who would love to have it. You can even work it out, sometimes, so you can see your baby and be more like a family friend than a mom to it. Think about what you want and then work it out with the parents you choose. You are in charge here.

Talk with someone other than your mom first, just to get some backup going. Then talk to your mom. Let her know everything you feel and everything you plan on doing. That will help her out. Be honest. You can do this. You can do it for you baby.