Expert: Carl Fuglein - 10/22/2010

Question
QUESTION: I'm 16 and I wasn't raised in a Christian family, but my parents are pretty strict so I never did anything....majorly wrong. Anyways, a couple of days ago I was looking for something in our garage, when I found an an old Bible - I think it said King James at the side - in an old box. When I showed it to my parents, my dad got mad and I'd rather not repeat all that he said, but bottom line, he told me to throw 'that crap' away. I don't really know why I did that, but I hid the Bible in the back of my closet instead. I haven't had much time to read it, and the parts that I have read I can't understand all that well. So - I guess my question is - is Christianity real? Is there really something like a heaven and a hell and a god sitting in the middle of the sky? I mean, the only times I've gone to a church were at weddings and funerals. In the back of my head, I used to think that I wasn't a Christian because it has too many rules and regulations. However, I've recently joined a dancing class and there I met a couple of Christians and,this probably sounds ridiculous, but they're always so.....peaceful and always have something good to say no matter how bad the situation is - like they have something I don't have. And - I want that 'something' too even though it really doesn't make sense.
I feel so confused. Should I rather forget about it all and throw the Bible away like my dad had told me to?

ANSWER: Sasha-

Your father has apparently been hurt by the church sometime in the past.  It happens - we're all human, and Christians are not perfect, but they DO have something that others do not - and that's forgiveness and freedom through Christ.

The Bible is a difficult book to read, especially the King James Bible that you have, as it was written in 1611 - language changes over the years.  And it is particularly difficult to study without some guidance from more knowledgeable Christians.

In answer to your question about Christianity is real - very much so.  There are about 1.8 billion Christians in the world.  This religion began in 33 AD with only 11 people, and has grown exponentially since then.  My belief is that there is indeed a God, a spirit that we cannot completely understand that had something to do with Christianity's growth.  I believe there is a heaven - a place that our soul goes to be with God.  Hell is eternity without God - some people believe that it is place of torment with the devil.  I'm not sure of that, but I AM sure that there is both a heaven and hell.

Christianity, although there are a lot of rules in the Bible, really subscribe to two important rules:  1)  Love God and 2) Love your neighbor.  Jesus taught us both those laws.  There are other rules, but if you love God and love your neighbor, you probably would never break them.  Many of the laws found in the Old Testament, and found in churches today are all made by men, not God. Many churches say no alcohol, no dancing, no gambling, etc., but these are all made by men in certain denominations (divisions, or separations between churches that are Christian).

I have several suggestions for you

You said that your friends have something peaceful that you don't.  That's not ridiculous at all - they really DO have something you don't - they have Jesus' spirit living within them.  My first suggestion is to ask them about it - why are they peaceful.  And then ask them if you can go to church or youth group with them.  Your parents might not like this, but you need to tell them that you'r just curious about religion and would like to find out for yourself and make your own decisions.  I pray that your father does not get too angry.

If you have your own money, may I suggest a couple books you can buy that will help you understand the Bible better - you should be able to find these at any decent book store - ask for help in finding them.

The Bible For Dummies:  http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Dummies-Jeffrey-C-Geoghegan/dp/0764552961/ref=sr_1_1

The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Bible:  http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-Bible-Third/dp/1592573894/ref=sr_1_1

Teen Study Bible:  http://www.amazon.com/Teen-Study-Bible-International-Version/dp/0310928370/ref=s


Go to this website about becoming a Christian:  http://www.allaboutgod.com/become-a-christian.htm

Go to BeliefNet which has info about a LOT of religions.  Here's the Christianity link:
http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/index.aspx

Here's another page on becoming a Christian.



I hope all this helps, and I hope that you are able to understand Christianity a little better.  Just remember that we're not all perfect, but trying.

hugs,
carl


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi again,
The links you gave me really helped and my friends have also guided me in what books to get as well as any questions I might have had. I am now glad to say that I am a Christian, learning new things every day.
There's only one problem. My dad does not approve of me reading the Bible/any sort of Christian literature/going to church/youth. I don't know what to do about it. You know, the night that I got saved I sneaked out of the house to go to a youth service while my parents were out. To make a long story short, my parents eventually found out I was missing and I got grounded. I guess that was one of the craziest things I've ever done lol.
Anyway, I still remember my dad saying that if I liked the Bible so much, I should look up the scripture verse of honoring your father and mother. It made me feel really bad. I do want to obey my parents - or rather dad, my mom is silent on this matter - but his rules are unreasonable. What should I do? At the moment I almost feel like crying because I'm sick of my dad getting mad at something so....simple and no matter how hard I try, I only seem to make matters worse because I can almost cut the tension in the house with a knife.
How can I be a good Christian and obey my dad?

Answer
Sasha-lee-

You are in a very difficult place, I know.  You have to honor your mother and father, while at the same time, you are trying to honor your God.

You can tell your dad that you've found the verses and you very much want to follow them, but that you also want to follow all the rest of the commandments.  They come as a group, not individually.  

I wish I had better news for you, unfrotunately I don't/ Read your Bible at school if you can, or when your dad is not around.  Do what your dad says about your life.  Soon, you will be 18, and your dad should give you more freedom.

Blessings,
Carl