Expert: Dr Tim Gladu - 8/29/2010

Question
HI..im kyle 20yrs male..i actually dont know where to
start..but i do know that im a real real bad person
especially to god i guess..im fun loving and caring to
people , look im not bragging or praising about my self i
just need to give you my proper info incase needed .my high
school was good i graduated with high scores and all
teachers favourite famous in school and at the same time a
very shy person aswell...now im doing my 3rd yr college and
also working a full time job in a well reputed firm in dubai
i live with my parents in dubai...im a born again christan
and also baptised...but i cant stop thinking about sex well
i really try getting close to god i also believe that he
speaks to me through the word of god...i do fasting,
meditating, and spend reading bible a lot...i know god is
great and he has done great wonders in my life and in my
family...but  dont know whats wrong with me its like taking
1 step forward in my spiritual life and taking 10 steps back
i regret what i have become and im no longer a
virgin..sometime i sit and cry so hard after having sex. i
dont know who should i speak to or how to control...i tried  
controlling my lust. and i have read each and every verses
in the bible about my immorality but i dont know hwy im
still doing it..its like my body is controlling my mind
..cant help it some time when i feel like doing it i quickly
watch passion of christ or jump in tub filled with cold
water in order to avoid it...even when i pray i dont
remember my self praying for my  health,job,finance or
material things i wanted....i have never prayed for these
stuff all i want is a really spiritual life which does not
include immorality...after god my mom is the only supportive
person in my life but how can i tell her...i feel like a
hypocrite may be im one...sometme i wonder why doesnt any
pastor who comes to house or church touches my head and does
not prophesise about my immoral life all the say is about is
that i a blessed child and that im gonna be a great
spiritual leader and also about my future blessing but not
about my other side....why !!!!.. want to change really
bad..and ohh...i never dated any girl or had a relation ship
in my life  ..i wish i had a girlfriend not to have sex but
understands me, who i can talk to about my situation and can
give me the moral support some one real someone who i would
love and take care...but i guess  its wrong for a born again
christian to have a relationship rite. correct me if m
wrong....i also had lot of sex workers...God am i the only
one like this....plsss..plss dont ignore my message
even..even if u cant reaply plss plsss pray for me...tc

Answer
Kyle,

I am not sure if anyone ever told you this so here it is. The average male your age thinks about sex constantly. I am not saying that this is to say you are just an animal and can't control yourself. I am just letting you know that this is biological. I can understand that you would think you were some kind of monster but you are like most other guys your age. Now the difference in you is you are a child of God. You have the power to over come most things in the flesh, but you need God's help to make it happen. You need to get someone you are accountable to and become partners with them in all aspects that you believe you are failing at. You should make it someone that you trust and also can share anything with and they will not judge you. I believe that through the power of the Holy Spirit we all have the power to overcome any problem of the flesh. You also have to realize that pastors are men and not God. They can't simply touch someone and feel they have done something wrong. The pastor is a spiritual leader of an entire congregation and they focus on preaching and teaching the Word of God. If you have a minister you trust then this would be the best one to share with. I think you would be surprised how much better you would feel if you were to share your problem with another person. Contacting me was your first step, but you need someone close that can make you accountable and you can speak to face to face.