Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 9/11/2010

Question
Hello! Thanks for reading my question. For starters I want to say that I have pretty good parents. My dad is a pastor and my mom is a good mother and wife. They have made mistakes, but all parents do. It is not from resentment that I want to leave my house.

I have been going to college for two years now. (I'm eighteen almost nineteen) This semester I chose to stay at home for one (or two) more semesters becuase of a scholarship. I started going to Bible college part time about an hour away, and also go to a community college. However, I really think that God's been working on me to go and stay at the dorms for another semester. My dad isn't sure that this is a good idea becuase instead of going to school for free, I'm going to owe the college 500 dollars. I have a job both here and there, and God has really been taking care of obsticals that are keeping me at home. But how can I know if it's really God's will for me to go to the Bible college dorms? If my dad decides that this is a bad idea, should I go anyway becuase God is telling me to? How can I be sure that I am not just convincing myself that God wants me to go becuase I want to. There are other reasons I think it would be good to go to Bible college, but this is the most important to me.
God blessed Ester for obey her authority even as a child, but Christ said to leave all and follow him.... I'm stuck  :(

Answer
Hi Nichole,

Thank you for this great question.  I appreciate your desire to be submissive and your caution not to trust your heart above what God really wants.  I am very sorry for my late response.

Ephesians 6:1-2

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Proverbs 4:1-4

Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. 2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. 3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. 4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

As you already know, 18 is not a magic liberating age according to scripture.  Jesus did say to forsake mom and dad rather than turning from following Him.  Jesus uses the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and authorities He has put in your life.  Is your father also your pastor too?  Your dad has a great position of authority and counsel in your life.

Hebrews 13:17
17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Be very clear in your communication what you want to do.  Tell him exactly why you want to be on your own and then get his counsel.  Tell him that if he specifically forbids you to stay, you will honor him.  Perhaps he is just having normal misgivings about his little girl leaving home.  I have 3 girls and I know the feeling  :(  It is also possible that he has more insight from God than you do.  If he is strong on this, then I believe that you should follow him.  God will honor your submission.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don