Expert: Carl Fuglein - 1/21/2011

Question
Hi, I'm a 58 year old mom to 2 daughters, 20 and 22.All of us have gay friends on Facebook and we also like Adam Lambert, who is openly gay.We have been to 2 of his concerts.My girls attend a youth group at their church but my oldest daughter thinks that if she has gay friends or likes Adam Lambert that she is not 'good enough' for God and I know that God loves the sinner but not the sin.I shared an article about Adam talking about gay marriage on my Facebook page and a man wrote "WRONG!!,this is NOT what the Bible says" I'm against gay marriage,but we try to befriend the gay youth that have been bullied and need someone to talk to.Plz help me & my daughters understand this.Thanks! Debbie

Answer
Debbie-

You sound like a pretty cool mom to me, and have a handle on things.

Try these on your "conservative" daughter:

If you have any friends who have sex out of wedlock, you're not good enough for God.
If you have any friends who drink to excess, you're not good enough for God.
If you have any friends who gossip, you're not good enough for God.
If you have any friends who lie, you're not good enough for God.
If you have any friends who disrespect their parents, you're not good enough for God.
If you have any friends who are sinners, you're not good enough for God.

Oh, wait, YOU'RE a sinner, so I guess you'll never be good enough for God.

Sounds absurd?  Well, it is.  God forgives all of us.  That's GOD forgives all of us, not US forgiving us.  Others' behavior is not ours to judge - that's God's job.  Our job is to love everyone and lead them to know God.  We do that by loving them, not ostracizing them because they're sinners.

As you already know, God loves all of us, but hates most of our behavior.  I'm pretty sure He likes it when we befriend the downtrodden and bullied, and that includes those who are gay.

I pray this helps.  Please let me know how your conversation goes and take the time to rate my answer.

blessings,

Carl,
A sinner.  Forgiven, but still a sinner.