Expert: Carl Fuglein - 1/24/2011

Question
Hi, i am 17 years old, there is this girl i have been having feelings for, i think she has feelings for me too cause we spend sometime together and also find ourselves starring at each other eyes numerous times and i think there is a chemistry between us, but there is a problem here, SHE IS MY PASTOR'S DAUGHTER, i attend a local african church which things like these are not taking lightly, i mean just a couple of years back, some youths almost got in trouble in my church for this same 'boyfriend & girlfriend issue', but i really love her, there is no sunday service that passes without looking into her eyes and seeing this desire for me, but each time i  try telling her i keep thinking about what her parent(THE PASTOR) or even the elders would do if  they found out, the shame might be unbearable, Plus, we only get to see each other in the church, and i don't think the church is a place where one can confess love to a girl.
I deeply love her and even think about spending the rest of my life with her but i am confused, i need your advise on this issue, should i ignore the odds and tell her my feelings or should i sadly keep it to myself.

Answer
If dating is permissible in your church and community, dating your pastor's daughter is no different than dating anyone else's daughter.  You should follow the traditional culture in your church and community for dating.  She's just a regular person - she's no different just because her father has a different profession from anyone else.

hope this helps,

carl