Expert: Carl Fuglein - 1/8/2011

Question
Hello. I am nineteen years old an in college. I don't really have a boyfriend yet but there is a guy in my classes that I am currently interested in. I want to start a relationship (not sexual or serious yet because I want to be careful). He is involved in studying theology which I think is really good.I sent him a friend request on facebook and he accepted. I don't even know if he is at all interested in me at all. I also want to keep from having sexual relations until I am married. Do you think I am taking the right steps?

Answer
Hi Michelle-

You are absolutely taking the right steps.  I applaud your resolve to not have sexual relations until you are married.  It's unfortunate, but recent statistics show that only 30% of 20 year olds are virgins.  Not too long ago, that stat was 50%.

The way to start a casual relationship with this guy is to write a few notes on his Wall, perhaps about something that was discussed in a recent class.  See if you can get a conversation going.  If he accepted your friend, he obviously knows who you are.  If he talks to you online, then I would try to talk to him before or after class, and if this is successful, and you're not too shy or embarrassed, maybe ask him to go to Starbucks - you pick up the tab (that always impresses me).  Just be yourself, be a good listener, ask him why he chose theology, etc.  

I pray this helps.  Please take the time to rate my answer and good luck.  Please write me again in about month and tell me how it's working out.

blessings,
carl