Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 3/2/2011

Question
Me and my boyfriend are followers of the SDA religion. Both of us grew up in this church and we highly respect the doctrines, but i'm very open to the teachings of other religions. I want this answer from a biblical perspective and not biased by denomination..

Me and my boyfriend have been having sex, and obviously we're not married and I can't talk to my parents about these things, i've been taught that pre-marital sex is wrong, but what does the bible say about it specifically? Every time we do it, we regret it later, and then we discuss how we're giving into temptation and i feel so bad about it sometimes that i go home crying and begging God for forgiveness. We both pray with each other about it and ask God to help us get rid of the temptations. I honestly believe we love each other, we've been together for four years, and this issue almost destroyed our relationship because we almost got to the point where we were talking about breaking up because we keep going against God and against the promises we made to each other. We've been good about not doing it these past few months of the new year though. I'm sorry i got off track with my original question. What does the bible say about pre-marital and what is your personal opnion of it?

Answer
Hello,

Thank you for this great question.  I am sorry for my late response.  The Bible is clear about this matter.  I will break it down into a few simple points.

1.  The only sex God blesses is within the bounds of marriage.

Hebrews 13:4 (AV)
4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.


2.  Sex outside of marriage is called fornication in the Bible.  The Bible is very clear about this sin.

1 Corinthians 6:9 (AV)
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

3.  If you are a believer, you are uniting Christ with this wicked sin.

1 Corinthians 6:15–20 (AV)
15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

4. There are two ways to avoid the sin of fornication.... either do not touch at all, or get married.

1 Corinthians 7:1–2 (AV)
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

5.  If you are going to remain pure, you need to set up accountability with other mature believers and you must make it hard to sin... do not ever spend time alone in an apartment or car.  This is radical, but if you want God's blessing, this is how to attain it.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don