Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 4/27/2011

Question
Hi pastor don I want to ask how do u deal with church gossip? because when I went to a church a while back I found out my former church gossiped about me and I was so hurt also the members said u don't belong at this church I ask my former pastor for help he did not help so I left a couple of weeks he wanted me to come back like nothing happened I am Still disppointed on the way he handle it. I did tell him I am going to another church he said don't go to that church cause they speak in tonques. Should I go back go the church that hurt me? Or should I move forward and stay at this church that's helped me and encourge me? Please I need to know the truth I only been to two churches the one that hurt me and the one that speaks in tonques. Thank u.

Answer
Hi Selina,

Thank you for this great question.  I am sorry that you were hurt.  The problem with churches is that there are people in them... all all people are sinners...  no matter where you go, you are bound to be hurt from time to time.  The defining moment in your life is what you do when that happens.  You could quit (the Bible word is faint) or you could forgive and remain stable.  The Bible promises that we will reap the good works we sow IF we do not faint (quit)

Galatians 6:9 (AV)
9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.


It sounds like you are willing to trade sound doctrine for a church that makes you feel better.  Listen, these people are people too... they have the potential to hurt you too... and when that happens you will not only be disappointed, but will have compromised doctrine you know not to be right.

You should go to the person that offended you directly and settle this.  Confront them so they know what they did, then forgive them, even if they do not deserve to be forgiven.... this is what Jesus would do.  Do not go to church for people, go to serve God and this will all make more sense.

Matthew 18:15–20 (AV)
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.


I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don