Expert: Brenda Martin - 4/20/2011

Question
Is it a sin for your boyfriend to rub your genitals when you're hugging(Clothes on)?

Answer
Here is a bible based article to read on the subject--

"More often than not, dating involves some physical contact—holding hands, kissing, or something beyond that. At first, just touching the other person’s hand may be very pleasurable, causing one to feel a warm glow. But after a while it may lose its thrill and may not have the same effect. Something more, such as kissing, may appeal. But, then, that too may become ordinary, even a little stale. Why is this?

Because where sexual passion is involved it is all part of a chain of events designed to lead to a specific outcome. The first link is the first touch. The last link is sexual relations, which God’s Word shows is reserved for marriage mates. Everything in between can lead up to that last link of the chain. So, then, if you are not married, is it wise to start with the first link, or any of the others? To do so is likely to bring “vexation.” Why? Because your body is going to get itself ready for something it should not receive now, that last link. Stimulating the desire for sexual relations but not fulfilling this desire may lead to frustration and nervous tension.

The Bible warns: “The heart is trickier than anything and in a desperate state; who understands it?” (Jeremiah 17:9, Byington) One may feel a perfectly normal attraction toward someone of the opposite sex. But the more you’re around each other, the greater the attraction. And this normal desire can lead your heart astray. “Out of the heart come wicked reasonings, . . . fornications,” said Jesus Christ.—Matthew 15:19.

Often a young couple do not plan to have sexual intercourse. In most cases, this occurred because a couple engaged in petting, or stimulating touching, of intimate body parts. Confessed one unwed mother: “To me and to most of the kids I know, it just kind of went a little bit further each time, and finally you aren’t a virgin anymore. You start out to do a little petting, and before you realize what is happening, you can’t stop.”

To avoid falling into sexual immorality yourself, you must lead your heart, rather than let it lead you. (Proverbs 23:19)

God tells young people: “Rejoice, young man [or woman], in your youth, and let your heart do you good in the days of your young manhood, and walk in the ways of your heart and in the things seen by your eyes.” Young people do tend to “walk in the ways of [their] heart.” Yet so often those “ways,” which seem to be such fun, end up bringing vexation and calamity. The Bible thus urges in the following verse: “Remove vexation from your heart, and ward off calamity from your flesh; for youth and the prime of life are vanity.” (Ecclesiastes 11:9, 10) “Vexation” refers to being deeply troubled or sorely distressed. “Calamity” denotes a personal disaster. Both can make life miserable." (end of article)

all the best
Brenda