Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 5/3/2011

Question
Well here it goes.
I started dating my incredible boyfriend 8 months ago. He is honestly perfect for me, We are both 18 years old and Christians, I am a pastors kid and grew up in the Church very much involved, I will not have sex until I am married and there is no question about it. Here is where it gets tricky. My boyfriend has never once pressured me to go further than kissing and I love love love that respect, we are planning on getting married and he knows he gets to have me and all of me for the rest of our lives, he has had sex before with 4 girls. He went through a hard time in his life with being really depressed and that was his way of coping with everything that was going on, not realizing it would lead to even more heartache. It hurts me soooooo bad knowing that he has shared such and intimate time and feelings with girls he didn't even care about, it makes me sick constantly, I think about him being with other girls every single day. He told me about it before we were dating and while we were just friends. I told him it didn't matter and that I would love to continue getting to know him. But everyday the more and more I love him and the more jealous I get of those girls having a piece of my man. Is there a way that I can get over my jealousy and just learn to love him flaws and all? He is an incredible man and like me still learning to be a Christian and live a Christian lifestyle.

Answer
Hi Alisha,

Thank you for this great question.  I am sorry for my late response.  I am so proud of you for your commitment to purity.  God will bless you with a great marriage if you continue on this path.  it is natural to be bothered by the fact that other women have had your man and you will saveyourself for him, however... God makes us new creatures when we come to Him.  Those acts are under the blood and he is a different person now if he has met Jesus.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (AV)
17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.


Trust is the key, so long as you see that he is willing to persue purity with you, then it would seem you can trust now that he is indeed a new creature.  Having said that, you both need to be very careful not to get into tempting situations, being alone, in situations where if you were both weak, you could lose your purity.  Constantly keep checks and ballances in place to help you both continue your resolve for purity,.

Romans 13:14 (AV)
14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.


I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don