Expert: Brenda Martin - 5/3/2011

Question
Well here it goes.
I started dating my incredible boyfriend 8 months ago. He is honestly perfect for me, We are both 18 years old and Christians, I am a pastors kid and grew up in the Church very much involved, I will not have sex until I am married and there is no question about it. Here is where it gets tricky. My boyfriend has never once pressured me to go further than kissing and I love love love that respect, we are planning on getting married and he knows he gets to have me and all of me for the rest of our lives, he has had sex before with 4 girls. He went through a hard time in his life with being really depressed and that was his way of coping with everything that was going on, not realizing it would lead to even more heartache. It hurts me soooooo bad knowing that he has shared such and intimate time and feelings with girls he didn't even care about, it makes me sick constantly, I think about him being with other girls every single day. He told me about it before we were dating and while we were just friends. I told him it didn't matter and that I would love to continue getting to know him. But everyday the more and more I love him and the more jealous I get of those girls having a piece of my man. Is there a way that I can get over my jealousy and just learn to love him flaws and all? He is an incredible man and like me still learning to be a Christian and live a Christian lifestyle.

Answer
"Is there a way that I can get over my jealousy and just learn to love him flaws and all?"

Ask yourself this--"Is he sorry for his past actions?" would he change them if it were possible? Has God forgiven him? if you can say YES to these three questions, then you are under obligation to forgive him also :¬)

In his parable of the prodigal son, Jesus compared Jehovah to a compassionate, forgiving father who opens his arms to receive back a repentant son. (Luke 15:11-32) Jesus’ words thus assure us that Jehovah looks for any change of heart on the part of a sinful human that would provide a basis for Him to show mercy. Jehovah is eager to forgive a repentant sinner. “I tell you,” explained Jesus, “that thus there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repents than over ninety-nine righteous ones who have no need of repentance.” (Luke 15:7)

Lastly we all have "flaws" we are ALL sinners in one way or another (Romans 5;12)

Even though our sins “should prove to be as scarlet, they will be made white just like snow,” says the Bible. (Isa. 1:18)

The Bible shows that love is essential for gaining the mastery over jealousy. In the Scriptures, we read: “Love is not jealous.” (1 Cor. 13:4)

Love “does not keep account of the injury.” Do you remember something done against you five or ten years ago? Perhaps you were offended, but it is just not in harmony with God’s Word to keep track of such things and continually bring up the past. One who keeps track of personal offenses and harbors grudges accomplishes no good for himself or others. His negative outlook causes a loss of joy for himself and those around him. His very relationship with Jehovah is affected, for how could such a man pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors”? (Matt. 6:12) As James says: “For the one that does not practice mercy will have his judgment without mercy.” (Jas. 2:13) How fine it is, at the end of the day when we approach Jehovah in prayer and ask for his forgiveness, to know that we have not kept account of the injury!—Matt. 18:21, 22; Eph. 4:26.

this information was taken from www.watchtower.org

all the best
Brenda