Expert: Carl Fuglein - 5/18/2011

Question
QUESTION: I have always longed to be closer to god because although i come from christian background, i really dont know God well or the bible. so i have decided to give up all the worldly things so that i can focus fully on God. this means type of music listen too, useless movies etc so i rather use that time to read the bible. the thing that confuses me the most is my bf. i ended our relationship  because i felt that for me to fully give myself to god and be nearer to him. i should be single and until i have seeked god truly and am comfotable with myself and our relationship. it would not be right to be in any relationship. i do love my bf alot so i dunno if am going overnoard or not. its just am willing to give up everythin for god and i want to show him that it's him that matters, even though my heart is hurtin and i miss my bf.

ANSWER: Yvonne-

I'd love to answer your question, but I need more information which I think is critical to the way I'd answer.  So, please answer the following and add a followup question:

1)  How old are you?

2)  Have you ever had a really serious relationship with a boy before?

3)  Do you go to church?  If so, what denomination, e.g. Methodist, Presbyterian, Roman Catholic, Baptist, etc.?

4)  Describe your relationship with your parents and siblings (if you have any).


Answer these questions, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Blessings,
Carl


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. i really appreciate it. i am 23 years old. No this is my first really serious relationship although i have dated before. yes i do go to church. i'm pentecoastal. My siblings and i get along but not really close to them as wel as with my parents. My bro is 5 years older than me n went to boardin school so didnt really 'grow' up wit him. My sis n i are just too different. we get along but we cant stay together for long. i hardly talk to my dad. actually all my siblings dont have a close relationship with my dad. i get along with mom but our relationship is better when far away from each other. if i must say, i'm kinda black sheep of family.

Answer
Yvonne-

Thanks for your candor.  Being 23 is that kind of middle ground where many people tend to fall away from God, so it's a good thing that you've been coming back to him.  It's noble to give up everything for God, but not all people are strong enough or even get that call from God.  I think you have honestly been dcalled by God, but not to give up everything.  I think He just wants you to be aware of Him and perhaps do His work.  But you can do that without giving up everything.  God knows whats on her heart.  I'm sometimes a very selfish not nice person, but I keep trying and keep doing youth ministry and volunteer here and that gives me a great sense of accomplishment.  But could I give up my quarter million dollar house and $25,000 vehicles and expensive hobby of traveling to go minister to kids in the dump in Mozambique?  No way.  It's just not who I am.  so, instead, I have a friend who actually does that, and I sometimes send her support.

Do I think God wants you to give up your b/f?  Nope.  What I think you should do is sit down with him, tell him your feelings and that you want to put God first, and oh, btw, do you want to come with me?  I've often said, if your b/f doesn't love Jesus more than he loves you, dump him.  Seriously - you want someone that loves God first.  Invite him in with you to bible study and an adventure in seeking God together.  Enlist your pastor's help and ask him if he knows of any couples Bible Study or Religion Studies.

I pray this helps.  Keep on keepin'on.  I'm going to put you on my calendar to write you in a month to see how you're doing.

Blessings,
Carl