Expert: Carl Fuglein - 8/28/2011

Question
I am 14 years old and very involved in musical theatre. From that, I know many gay people. I am very for it, and support gay rights and everything because that's just how I feel since many of my friends are homosexual. However, I also believe in God strongly, and pray every night. I am being raised in a Catholic Christian church, so that is what I "believe" in (I do believe in most of it, but some of it I am too young to know if I believe in, and a few things I disagree with). And I know that the Bible says things against being gay, and that many Christians believe that homosexuality is a choice and a sin, and that they will burn in hell. What I think is that God is forgiving and loving. That's what the Bible teaches us right? And I do not believe that homosexuality is a choice (why would you choose to be made fun of?), so why would He create someone just for them to burn in hell because of something they had no control over? I don't know if I can change my views, but I am confused, and I want to support my friends while also being a good Catholic.

Answer
Amber-

Thanks for writing.  I, too, have a few gay friends, and am probably about as confused as you about gay issues.  I'll try to explain.

First of all, you mention that "the Bible says things against being gay."  This is wrong.  The Bible says nothing about BEING gay, the Bible says a LOT about gay sex, and that it is an abomination.  So therefore, if you believe that it is not a choice to BE gay, it then becomes a choice to have gay sex.  Having gay sex is no worse than having sex outside marriage.  Gay sex, because marriage is traditionally between two members of the opposite sex, then becomes sex outside marriage and is a sin.

I agree with you.  Being gay is not a choice, I believe it is inherent in your DNA (I know an extended family that has at least 3 gays in it, 2 were my students, a brother and sister plus their cousin, and I think their younger sister is gay also, but don't know for sure yet.  They also have 2 other sisters that are definitely heterosexual).  Why God made them that way, I'm not sure.  Why would God put anyone in the position of not being able to have sex with or marry the one they love?  I don't know.  About the biggest question I have to ask God when I meet Him.

Can your gay friends go to heaven?  Sure, but they must remain celibate.  If they're not, then they must ask for forgiveness and try again to remain celibate.  That's where the choice comes in.  Horrible choice to make, I know.  But priests are supposed to be celibate, too, and there's much debate about that.

How do you support your friends?  Just love them with God's love.  If they ask, or even if they don't, you can tell them what the Bible says, then drop it.  That's what I've done with my students.  It's up to them to make the right choices, and up to God as to how He will judge them.  Ostracizing them or keeping them away from church is the worst possible thing you can do.  Hopefully, by being a loving person, you can show them true Christianity, and again, they have to make the right choice.

I pray that this helps.  Please let me know if you don't understand something, and please take the time to rate my answer.

hugs,
Carl