Expert: Carl Fuglein - 1/9/2012

Question
QUESTION: Hey Carl, I am currently a senior in high school, and I've had a hypnosis fetish since freshman year. Hypnosis has always been interesting to me (I was first introduced to it when I saw an episode with Scooby Doo where the bad guy could put someone in a trance with "one swing of his watch"), and it wasn't until 8th grade that I started looking into it and finding out if it was even possible. It is. I've looked up enough videos and articles to find out not only how do it, but do it safely.

When I watched the Scooby Doo episodes, I'd get an erection when I saw the bad guy hypnotize one of the girls. But I got that same feeling whenever I watched something magical happen where someone could read someone else's thoughts or become invisible. Hypnosis turned into the super power that I could do in real life. I'm also not this freakish young man who gets sexual pleasure out of the magical and out of the ordinary. The movie scenes that captured my heart the most were the ones involving romance where a girl would just be wooed by the guy, and then they'd have a moment of gazing into each other's eyes that said "hey, I love you so much. Let's live life together forever as best friends and companions". I get erections when I see that too, but it tugs at my heart strings more.

Okay, back to hypnosis. I'm going to be completely honest and let you know that I've looked at hypnosis porn. I haven't looked at anything super crazy....seeing any nudity was means for me to say this isn't right. I didn't go that far. I've never actually even masturbated before, let alone to this. But just that idea of seeing a pretty girl close her eyes, relax, and let her imagination become reality was enticing to me. I have since released this temptation of mine for watching and pondering this material, because I know that it's displeasing to God. It's porn for goodness sake. I don't need it nor do I want it anymore. However, I have practiced hypnosis on other people and done things that were fun and harmless, such as feeling sleepy, forgetting the number 7, freezing, feeling confident and happy, becoming a soccer player, having a craving for a coke. I haven't done anything explicitly sexual.

I apologize for the length of this, but i think there's a lot of information you need to know about me, what I've done with hypnosis, and what it means to me before you can (hopefully) give me a thorough, helpful answer to my plight. Hypnosis is not only a fetish of mine. Every person I've hypnotized felt relaxed afterwards, and none of them said they felt like they were abused, controlled, or manipulated in a cruel or evil way that compromised their morals or beliefs. If anything, they felt happier and more confident than before they started. It's nice to think that I have a skill and an interest in something that actually helps people. Nobody else I know is as interested in it as I am, making it seem like something sinful or malignant. It's unusual I know, but why has this appeared so interesting to me? I think that using it as a means of pleasing myself or fulfilling sexual desires is wrong, and, like I said, it's a skill that I could use to help people.

My questions: How should I treat hypnosis? Is it something that I can practice and help others? What guidelines should I implement with it (never do it alone with someone, guys only, etc.)? Or is it something you'd suggest that I need to drop altogether? Also, is it something that I could carry into the bedroom with my wife when I finally meet her? Beyond everything right now, I want to love God, love my wife, and love others. That's literally all that matters, so what should I do? What is your take on hypnosis and hypnosis fetishes?

ANSWER: Hi Jacob-

Thanks for writing.  I appreciate your trusting me with your questions.

I can honestly say that I've never had a question like this one, and I'm not really sure how to answer it, but I'll give it my best shot.  Remember, keep in mind that I am not a professional psychologist, and know very little about hypnosis.

I personally know that hypnosis is not a parlor trick, as I've been hypnotized myself.  The hypnosis worked, but the post hypnotic suggestions given by the hypnotist did not.  I was hypnotized by a registered nurse and was looking for help with losing weight, a struggle which I still have.  I did feel very relaxed during and after the hypnosis.

However, many people believe that hypnosis is just a trick, and doesn't really work.  You very much need to keep that in mind.  I've heard that you can't be hypnotized unless you want to me, but I'm assuming that someone with a weaker mind, or generally submissive person, could more easily be hypnotized.

Okay, there's the extent of my knowledge.  On to the questions.


You asked:  How should I treat hypnosis? Is it something that I can practice and help others? What guidelines should I implement with it (never do it alone with someone, guys only, etc.)? Or is it something you'd suggest that I need to drop altogether?

Sure, but I don't think you should do it until you go to college, study psychology, and become a professional of some sort or other.  The use of hypnosis in a party setting, or with your friends, could become dangerous, and you wouldn't know what to do.  I'd recommend against it.  If you truly want to do this as a professional, learn as much as you can as soon as you can.


You said:  Also, is it something that I could carry into the bedroom with my wife when I finally meet her?

I think this explains your fetish.  You want to be in control.  I would think that hypnosis in the bedroom is taking things a little too far.  Playing sexual games within marriage is certainly acceptable as long as both partners agree, but I'd not want to have total control over my wife.  You can actually "play" this game by acting out a fantasy where one of you becomes the other's sexual "slave".  But when doing something like this, you have got to have what is known as a "safe" word.  When one partner begins to feel uncomfortable and wants to stop, they say the safe word, and the other partner has to stop what they're doing immediately.  So, you could "play" hypnosis, but both partners actually remain in control of the situation.


As to how to proceed, I'd just say really be careful and don't let the control go to your head.  Learn as much about it as you can, and consider it as a profession to help people with their problems, and not so much as a party game.

Hope this helps.

Blessings,
Carl




---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Carl,

Thanks for answering! I know that this is a difficult and obscure topic to discuss, but I think you've offered some helpful insight.

Hypnosis isn't something that can be done (at least, to my knowledge and my purposes) when the other person doesn't think it's possible or doesn't want to be hypnotized. Either way, I wouldn't force it on someone who wasn't willing. There are certain ethics and methods that make it safe. But yes, there are levels of suggestibility that make others more prone to being hypnotized. The main factors that determine that are imagination and ability to follow directions. I think everything else beyond that is curiosity and trust, the latter being one that I would not want to ever abuse. I won't claim to know everything, but I have done a lot of background research that has increased by knowledge base on this subject.

You said the use of hypnosis in a party setting or with my friends could become dangerous. What do you mean by that? Is that your primary concern regarding my practice of hypnosis at the age I'm at right now, or is there another reason?

I see your reasoning for taking hypnosis to the bedroom. However, what if we agreed on a "safe" word under hypnosis? I could imagine that "playing" a sex slave game or utilizing "toys" that restrained one of us would put us in a place of trusting the other completely. Please correct my thinking if I'm wrong, but I believe hypnosis falls under the trust rule as well. I also know that having a serious pre-talk before that explains the concept of a "safe" word is something that carries through the mind of the hypnotized subject and allows them the freedom to safely say that word whenever they feel that their moral or ethical boundaries are infringed, even under the heightened suggestibility of hypnosis.

I know how out-of-the-ordinary this subject is, and I will appreciate it greatly if you could help answer these extended questions with whatever knowledge you can provide. Again, I'm at a place where I want to love God, love my wife, and love others to the fullest. I'm hoping that you can give me some direction and guidance regarding hypnosis and how it relates to those 3 subjects. Thanks! God bless.

-Jacob

Answer
Hi Jacob-

The danger comes two ways, I think.  First, what if you hypnotize someone and they don't come out of it?  Second, what if you ask them to do something that you don't think is embarrasing, but might be humiliating to them?  How would you deal with those issues?

As for the bedroom, I just don't think it's a good idea.  I think it gives one person (you) too much control.  I'm not saying you'd abuse it, but I just don't think it's a good idea from an ethical point of view.  Sex is not something to be toyed with.  Sure, you can play all sorts of games and fantasies, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that inside a marriage relationship, but I just think hypnosis wrong.  Call me a prude.  I'm all for equality.

Hope that answers your questions.

Carl.