Christianity --Youth Issues/Is he heaven sent


Let me start by saying I'm not a youth, I am 38 and wasn't sure if I could ask a question or not ,by me being an adult. Well here goes, I'm a 38 yr old female,growing up I was a baptist, went to church rarely but still always believed in God. I didn't have very much knowledge as for as the bible but in my early 20's i got into a little trouble concerning the law where i was confined for approximately 3 months, I got closer to God and that is when our relationship started. through the years i got into more trouble and got more closer to God. I took it as him getting my attention and that was the best way. just giving you some info as to how i was growing up. Okay let's get to the point of why i wrote asking some input. feb 14th 2007 I got married to a person i knew from my pass. I got all the warning signs that it wasn't the right thing to do but I was ready for love, to be in a relationship the whole nine yards. Unfortunately my marriage lasted 2yrs, because my Ex-husband had a drug and alcohol problem. It lasted that long because I took my vows very serious and wanted it to work, i had to realize that it takes 2. i got out of the verbally abusive relationship and got a divorce. It was traumatizing to the fact I vowed to never do it again. I was told by friends and family I would, just with the right person next time. I didn't want to be in a relationship with no-one. 26 days later after my divorce was final A friend called me up and she said she had someone she wanted to introduce me 2. I immediately said NO!! she explained that since I had just gotten out of a bad marriage this would be the perfect friendship. Okay her husband was in prison and his roommate needed a pen-pal. at first i was very hesitant and just didn't want to be bothered. i agreed and we started writing. we would write and talk on the phone. We would talk about our life and everything we have been through and as time progressed started to develop feelings for one- another, I just felt like it was wrong at first but the only reason was because he is incarcerated. He has and still treats me like a woman, I don't send him money because his family takes great care of him and also of me if needed, most of all he is a man of God. when my faith is low he tells me to get that bible, we read and pray together. We'll 2 yrs into the relationship, I got tired of waiting and stepped out only to realize in 3 months that the grass isn't greener on the other side and I can't replace someone in the free world for him just because they are free and he isn't. That broke him to a point where only God could deliver the pain from him. I was distraught as well. I got enough courage to call his mom and see how he was. she told me he was doing great and that he forgives me, we'll we ended up getting back together a month after that. I would ask him how does he have so much happiness and peace and he is incarcerated?? he told me GOD!!!!! I started fasting and seeking April 21st 2012. I stop drinking, smoking, partying ect. I am still drug free and live a life of happiness and Peace. God directs my path and I ask that his will be done in my life and not the will of my own. My life has changed,as we'll as my way of thinking. Oct 26 made 3yrs for my fiance and I. The first of the year we want to become husband and wife. My question to you is?? Just because of where I met this individual, will that have anything to do with my relationship/marriage not working? or should I continue to believe that God bless me with someone he wants me to grow and become 1 with. 2 things that bother me is #1 I met him in prison!! #2 We never been together in the free world besides me visiting him every month. he has 5 more years. and I love him very much. last thing. I never loved someone that I never been intimate with and that loves God like he does. Thanks for your time and answer. God Bless


Well, as long as you're younger than me, I guess I could consider you a youth, lol.  But I'm wondering why you wrote to me rather than someone else - could you respond with a follow-up and let me know?

I don't really know how to answer your question anyway.  I have virtually no experience in dealing with incarceration related relationships.  I've done almost no prison related ministry except as support.

I guess my best advice is that if you think you can wait 5 more years, then go for it. It seems like you're grounded in faith, as is he, and if this is what you want, then it's probably God-ordained.  If it's not, it's not going to work out, but I don't want to discourage you.  If you feel it's right, and you have a relationship with his family, and they feel it's right, then it's probably right.


Christianity --Youth Issues

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Carl F.


I can answer questions from teens & young adults concerning their faith walk and on social issues which affect their lives. I can answer questions on sex, homosexuality, or drugs, and anything else that might be troubling you. After 30 years in youth ministry, nothing shocks me, and I promise to give straight answers to any and all questions. I can also answer questions from youth workers on problems they`re having with programming or with their groups.


I have been involved in youth and young adult ministries as a volunteer for over 35 years. I am currently a volunteer youth minister in a suburban UM church - I have a small group of 7th and 8th graders.

United Methodist Church, Chrysalis, Walk to Emmaus, Cursillo

Several training seminars, 9 years at National Youth Workers Convention, 1 year at Princeton Forum on Youth Ministry

Awards and Honors
Certified lay speaker for UM Church

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