Christianity --Youth Issues/Having a girlfriend


QUESTION: I am a 13 year old christian and i have a huge crush on a 17 year old girl.Is this feeling im having for a girl sin?

ANSWER: Having a crush on someone is not a sin.  Lust, which is wishing to have a relationship with someone, is a sin according to the Bible.  However, at your age, it is a normal feeling. You're just like everyone else.  Acting on that lust and having a sexual relationship with someone (including oral sex) IS a sin.  

If you, at age 13, think that you could have any kind of relationship with a 17 year old, you're sadly mistaken.  17 year old girls would not at all be interested in a 13 year old, sorry.  The age difference is just too great.  I would suggest that you spend more time with teens your age, both boys and girls, and develop friendships with them.



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QUESTION: Thank u 4 your ans.then is having a girlfriend same as my age a sin.

Pretty much the same answer, depending on your definition of "girlfriend".  Having one special girl that you're exclusive with is certainly okay.  The only issue you need to worry about is going too far and having sex.  Oral sex, btw, is indeed sex.  God wants you and your girlfriend to remain pure and holy.  Hanging out together, going to the movies, spending time wih each other is certainly not a sin.

Hope this helps.


Christianity --Youth Issues

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Carl F.


I can answer questions from teens & young adults concerning their faith walk and on social issues which affect their lives. I can answer questions on sex, homosexuality, or drugs, and anything else that might be troubling you. After 30 years in youth ministry, nothing shocks me, and I promise to give straight answers to any and all questions. I can also answer questions from youth workers on problems they`re having with programming or with their groups.


I have been involved in youth and young adult ministries as a volunteer for over 35 years. I am currently a volunteer youth minister in a suburban UM church - I have a small group of 7th and 8th graders.

United Methodist Church, Chrysalis, Walk to Emmaus, Cursillo

Several training seminars, 9 years at National Youth Workers Convention, 1 year at Princeton Forum on Youth Ministry

Awards and Honors
Certified lay speaker for UM Church

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