Christianity --Youth Issues/Living Morally Correct


My teen son asked me the other day why is it that cursing is considered wrong. I told him that because it does not bring glory to God. He said but what makes it wrong such as s--t just means crap so why is it wrong to say it. I told him that it is a man made word that is considered vulger. We went deep into coversation about how the worl has taken thing and made vulger things that were not meant to be. I dont think I did a good job answering his question. He is extremely smart and one of those kids who has to know why and how everything that works. Please can you give me some advice or a website that can help me to answer some of the difficult questions he asks. He is a great kid and is doing well living a Godly life so I dont want to discourage him because I dont have the right anwers.

Hi Charity -

thanks for writing.  Sorry it's taken me a couple days -I've been really busy, I'm retired, and have no clue how I managed to work 40 hours a week for almost 50 years.

Your answer is a good one, in that it does not bring glory to God, but it is vulgar.  I'm glad that you had a talk with him about why YOU thought it was wrong.  You'll never go wrong by telling him how YOU feel.  Conversations like this don't happen often enough.  We have them in youth group, which is a good place to have them, but it's even better to have them at home.  For some reason, many teens won't talk to their parents, but WILL talk to their youth leaders.  As long as they're talking to someone other than their peers about important issues, it's a good thing.  Your conversations with your son will carry over into adulthood - my daughter and I (who often disagreee) talked in her later teen years, and continue to talk now (she's 43).

Don't put yourself down - you're doing something right.  Parents continue to have the biggest influence on their kids, much more so than me or their peers, even when they don't think so.  Tell him you will answer anything, and if you don't think you have the "right" answer, you'll tell him how you feel about a topic which is just important.  Most teen questions don't have a "right" answer anyway, just different opinons.

You should know that there is a difference between "cursing" and "taking the Lord's name in vain."  God does not want to hear "Oh My God! That's such a cute dress" or in your son's case, "that's such a hot chick."  My kids get called down on that every time I hear it.  You should never see me post OMG! (I HATE that), but I will use Oh my gosh, or OMGosh.  Also verbotten in youth group is God D****.  I'm a little less lax on s*** and a little more harsh on f***.  I try to teach that there is a difference - God doesn't want to hear OMG as it's one of the commandements, but the everyday cursing is more of an Honor thy Mom and Dad thing.  It's just not done in polite society.  You have to realize also, that in their generation, the s and f words are not as bad to them as they were to us.  Heck, when I was growing up, I couldn't even say BS or crap.  Language changes.  It is up to us to try to slow down some of the changes.

Google "Why is cursing bad?" and you'll see a lot of answers.  I didn't read them all.

You're doing fine mom, keep up the great work, and feel free to write anytime.


Christianity --Youth Issues

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Carl F.


I can answer questions from teens & young adults concerning their faith walk and on social issues which affect their lives. I can answer questions on sex, homosexuality, or drugs, and anything else that might be troubling you. After 30 years in youth ministry, nothing shocks me, and I promise to give straight answers to any and all questions. I can also answer questions from youth workers on problems they`re having with programming or with their groups.


I have been involved in youth and young adult ministries as a volunteer for over 35 years. I am currently a volunteer youth minister in a suburban UM church - I have a small group of 7th and 8th graders.

United Methodist Church, Chrysalis, Walk to Emmaus, Cursillo

Several training seminars, 9 years at National Youth Workers Convention, 1 year at Princeton Forum on Youth Ministry

Awards and Honors
Certified lay speaker for UM Church

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