Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 8/30/2004

Question
Dear Pastor

I am writing to you for some personal advice. I really hope you can help me. I am a practicing Christian, living on my own with a small child since my husband left us

I have met another man called John,  a very good Christian man. John wishes to marry me. I would love to marry him except for one issue. John has a very serious health condition which will one day render him an invalid. Ultimately he will die from his disease. My own Pastor knows both of us really well, hence the reason I am writing to you, as you may be able to be more objective.
It is devastating for me to turn John down. I love him dearly. However I do not believe that I would be doing the right thing for my child by marrying him. My child needs all the love and security he can get. I feel it would be wrong to subject my son to any more pain and suffering, which would certainly be the case as John's health gradually fades.

I really need to know what the bible says on this issue.. I have not been able to find any scripture directly relating to the issue of marriage to a sick person, and I therefore to write to ask if you can perhaps direct me to a relevant passage.

I so much hope you can help me with this.Warmest love and blessings

Rachel Price  

Answer
Hi Rachel

Thanks for this great question.  I do have some Biblical principles surrounding your decision for you to consider.

1.  Your pastor has been comissioned by God to help you and to guide you....I have not.  You should value his counsel greatly.  Be careful that you are not simply looking for someone to say what you want to hear.

Hebrews 13:7,17
7 Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.  

17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  Marriage is forever....do not make a commitment until you can resolve that doubt in your mind....if you ever can.

Romans 14:23
23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.   

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Talk to your pastor....he has what you need.  I trust that God will help you.

In Christ,

Pastor Don