Expert: Carl Fuglein - 3/22/2006

Question
So then isn't wrong to just date her? I thought that that scripture passage meant that a christian and a non-christian couldn't be more than just freinds. And the reason i said i would probably fail at converting her, is because i wouldn't even know where to start or what to do. If maybe you could point me to where i can find some information on this topic, it would be helpful. But if it is God's will for her to be converted, im sure He will be able to help me.

Thank you for your quick and precise answer.
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Followup To
Question -
I have recently met this girl. She is very pretty and extremely friendly. I have become friends with her, but i would like to try to step up from that point. There is only one thing stopping me. I am christian and she is muslim(but a very liberal one). I am faced with one of three choices:

1.) Just forget about her. (This choice would haunt me for a long time. I really care about her.)

2.) Try to convert her. (This could be very difficult, and i would probably fail.)

3.) Go against what i have been taught my entire life, and forget about our different religions. (You can obviously see what is wrong with this choice.)

I really need some help. A quick response would be highly appreciated.
Answer -
Hi Phillip-

Surely you are aware of this scripture:

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(2 Cor 6:14 NASB)  Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Footnote:
2 Cor 6:14:  Vs. 6:14  Do not be bound together with unbelievers. Primarily this relates to separation from the false teachers troubling the church, though it may apply to other alliances like marriage and business.

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Keep that in mind.

Many people view that as an instruction to shun everyone that is not a Christian, and at the very least, do not form a CLOSE relationship with a non-Christian or "do business" with them.

My personal interpretation is a little more liberal - if we don't associate with non-Christians, how can we ever gain any new converts?  But I DO agree that you should not marry an unbeliever.  Why?  Because the unbeliever will always put YOU first, not God; and you will always put God first, and not HER.  She would always resent the time you spent with God, at church, and with your fellow Christian believers.

But you didn't say you were getting married, but only that you were dating.  An entirely different story.  Again, some people would quote that scripture and say don't date a non-Christian.  I disagree.  Go ahead and date her, but know that you CAN'T marry her unless and until she converts.

So, what do you do?  Well, let me try to answer YOUR solutions directly.

1.) Just forget about her.

Well, you can't.  If you truly care for her, then you will love her, show her the love of Christ every chance you get. Dumping her is NOT going to solve your problem.

2.) Try to convert her. (This could be very difficult, and i would probably fail.)

Why do you think you would fail?  Yes, it COULD be very difficult, but your Lord and Savior hung on a cross with nails in his feet and hands, and he didn't complain about it being difficult.  There are all kinds of ways to convert people.  St. Francis once said, "Preach the Gospel every day.  Use words only when necessary."  I think you need to love this girl and show her the Love of Jesus through your actions.  Don't give up on her.  With God's help, you will not fail.

3.) Go against what i have been taught my entire life, and forget about our different religions. (You can obviously see what is wrong with this choice.)

This is not the answer either.  If you are truly a Christian, you will NOT give up or forsake your Savior.
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So, what do you do?  Kee dating her.  Keep loving her.  And tell her that you have no long term future until she is convinced that Jesus is savior of the world.  If her answer is "No Way, never", then you have to tell her goodbye.  If her answer is less emphatic, then you need to make a decision.  If she is the girl for you, then God will make it happen.  And if she's not, you'll eventually break up.

I had a girl in my youth group once.  She was very dedicated to Jesus.  She dated an atheist for about 4 years.  She asked me constantly if she should keep dating him.  I said yes, until you are absolutely sure that he is NOT going to convert, or until you're ready to move on.  God has a plan for your life.  He has a man in mind for you to marry.  It may be Tim (the atheist), and if it is, He will see the light.  If not, God will send you the right man.

She eventually broke up with him, met a nice Christian young man, and is now very happily married to him.  And she's still friends with Tim, and is still trying to convert him.

Phillip, you have to decide which is more important - your girl, or God.  You already know the answer.

I will pray for you.

Please take the time to rate my answer.  Sorry it took so long.

blessings,
carl  

Answer
Phillip-

I guess it depends on your definition of "dating".  There is a definite difference between "courting" and "dating".  

I personally don't think you should be "courting" her - that is getting to be better friends in anticipation of marrying her.  The Corinthians scripture is clear on that.

But "dating" in my opinion is less than that.  It's being friends, perhaps exclusive friends. Certainly you hold hands and hug and kiss; hopefully you've gone no further than that. You start doing more, then you get into the "courting".

How do you witness to her?  I've never personally witnessed to a Muslim, I've known only a few and post 9/11, I haven't met or known any.  So I may not be the right person to ask.

But I did a little surfing and came up with a few sites:

This site seems to have practical advice with which you can start:

http://archives.tconline.org/Stories/jan02/witness.html


This is a listing of many sites dealing with Christianity vs. Islam.  All of the sites that I looked at looked very complicated.  You may ultimately need to get into them.

http://www.answering-islam.org/L_c-on-i.html

That's about all I got.  I don't mind discussing further with you if you have specific questions, but I think you need to do some research.  Perhaps your pastor can help, too.

Blessings,
carl

PS please take the time to rate my answers.