Expert: Carl Fuglein - 11/2/2005

Question
Is it ok for Christian Teens to be dating young
like 8th grade ? There are some nice christian guys in my youth group and i'm wondering whats appropriate . Thanks ... Melody

Answer
Hi Melody-

Thanks for writing.  Deciding on an age to start dating is not an easy thing to do, because all people mature at different times.  But since you asked, I'll give you my opinion - 8th grade is too early for anyone to date, Christian or not.  It's good for you to make friends and have relationships with members of both sexes, but dating at such an early age may lead to romantic and emotional involvement that is too difficult for a teen to handle.  

Why do you want to date?  Sex? Romance? To pick a husband?  You're far too young fro that - you can be friends without dating.  You can go on "group" dates - small groups of mixed genders.  Dating leads to exclusivity, and 8th grade is not the time for that - you need to develop a lot of relationships - this will lead to assisting you in life in all situations.

I know you probably would like me to tell you it's okay, but I don't know you, and it's not up to me, anyway - it's up to you and your parents to make decisions about it.  I can't give you a time when you ARE ready, either, but I think you need to wait a couple years.  If you disagree, write back to me and give me reasons why you think you want to date, and should be permitted to date.

Blessings,
carl