Expert: Carl Fuglein - 5/23/2005

Question
Well I called her Saturday at 6:25pm I was on break at work soo I decided what the heck I will give her a call so I did and she picks the phone up and the first words out her mouth was I can't talk long soo I was like ok no biggy so I asked her how she was doing she said she was doing fine but I really gotta go later and thats all that was in that conversation.  Sunday I had graduation =) finally out of high school its a good feeling and a scarry one at the same time soo after graduation and the family get together I decided to call Estella again it was 7:15pm I went into my shed so we could speak in private "dad is nosey lol" So anyways I call her phone rings 2 times then it cuts off well you know on a cell you can cut someone off well she did soo I thought ok maybe she accidently pressed it or she was in church or anywheres could of been a problem with the cell network it could of been any reason soo I call her again rings normal she picks the phone up and says " what what do you want" I was like ok are you mad or something I was just calling to see how you was doing then she tells me don't you think its kinda late  I said umm its only 7:21pm thats not really late she said ok whatever soo how was graduation I told her it was nerve racking and kinda scarry she said ok then she said she had to go her dad was internigizing"I think I spelled that right" her she kinda sounded like her dad was getting on her nerves or something so I told her ok you gotta go she said yes I do I was like ok cya you later then click and thats that.. I thought she was kinda being rude about it soo  I don't even know if I wanna call her anymore.  Well after that I decided to call my cousin well he was at his girl friends house Angelas and she so happens to be good friends with estella and why I was telling my cousin about the conversation between me and estella he told me that estella was at my graduation I was like your kidding me Angela said no he is not "I don't know if she was there for me or someone else" Angela must of called estella or something because Angela told me that estella saw me walk across the stage.  So to me it sounds like when I call estella her dad must be there and she trys to hide who shes talking to so her dad dose not find out so she has to hurry up and talk fast to be honest there is really not much I can do about this hopefully she brings her cell with her to her moms she will be alittle more relaxed about talking hopefully if not then I dunno =(.
Well if you have in ideas or solutions to help me out please do thank you for your time oh by the way I use to be a expert here =) I was under Clinton Meaut but had to quite because of school reasons and stuff "even people that help others need help sometimes"..

later
Clinton




-------------------------
Followup To
Question -
Hey,

  This school year I met a girl named Estella she was in my 6th period class "high school" she is a junior I am a senior well anyways one day I decided to talk to her shake her hands introduce myself so on and I walked her to class and I did everyday we started to get to know each other very well soo maybe 3 weeks after getting to know her and everything I asked her out and she told me no becuse of her dad is very strick and he would not approve of it.  Soo I accepted what she said and I am still walking her to class talking to her and she started telling me her problems she had in the past she said she would not tell me all the details of things that happend to her "she sounded scared to talk about it" so anyways she was telling me how she was on medication and alot of bad things happend to her so I was kinda shocked she told me some of this and I kinda backed off alittle about the going out and dateing part. Soo we get in class the same day she told me all that stuff about her past life, I asked her for her cell number she gave it to me she won't give me her house number becuse of her dad  I can understand that and she told me only to call her on Saterday and Sunday on her cell becuse she is on a plan where is charges threw mon and fri and Sat and Sun is free.  Now its getting close the end of the school year it was last Wen's Day May 18 she was sitting down aginst the wall I sat right next to her and she was reading poems she made a poem and it was very good even got in the school newspaper I was very proud of her soo the bell rings to go the class she stands up so do I and she ask me to go to a Baptist Church with her I never been to one I am christian soo I text her too see if she can meet me out side and she text me back and says ok soo I drive up there and we met up and talked and I tought the church thing was pretty cool never seen anything like it had all the seniors go up front and kneel down and had people over them praying some seniors started to cry it was very moveing indeed and then after that they had a prayer thing where you pick someone to pray with soo me and her went to sit some wheres and she asked me so what do you want to pray about I told her about what I am going threw and I did the same to her she was telling me that her dad and her where kinda falling apart things started going more bad for her so the thing gets over with she ask me if she can walk me to the door I told her why don't we stay here and talk alittle more she acted alittle nervous like if her dad saw me he would get mad at me so I take up on the offer and she walks me to the door and we start to talk for a few mins and she calls her dad and they start to argoue over the phone and she said she will walk home, to be honest I did not want her to walk home by herself but she told me she lived pretty close "I am guessing she did't want her dad to see me with her" so I as I am walking out I see a guy walking toward the church my car was kind parked away from all the other cars soo I saw this guy and I was like ok this must be Estella's dad so I said ok I guess I will go then since he is here I dunno if that was him or not but if it was thats good.  Now its the last day of school I had a program to go too and I walked out of the program told a teacher I was going to the bathroom but instead I went to talk to her and she was happy to see me and all she asked why I was not at the program I told her I came out here to talk to you for a few mins before I go back and she told me to go so I don't get in trouble but I told her I don't care and we talked for a few mins and then I went back to the program for seniors.  After that program I had to go to 6th period and I saw her I went over there to talk to her she seemed alittle upset like something bad happend so I asked her if there was somthing you would like to talk about she told me no "shook her head in saddnest it looked like"  soo the teacher puts in jarasitc park since its the last day of school and I took a quick glance at her she looked mad but I dunno why could it be that her dad saw me with her that night ?  Well now school is over for seniors they let us get out at 2:00 and sophmores and juniors got out at 2:35 and I waited the whole 35 mins to see her to tell her good bye and stuff she was not even smileing or anything at me I was telling her good bye she did't say nothing man did that hurt so I said hold up Estella your not going to say bye to me whats wrong somthing happen last night she put her head down and said no but I have a feeling something did go wrong and so I walked her to her bus said bye agin and I asked for a good bye hug so she did she smilled when I said that I also told her I would call her saterday she told me she might not be there so I guess I will wait sunday.  So my question is why is she so scared of her dad ?  This summer she is going to be with her mom for the summer then comeing back. To be honest I do like her I am not rushing her in anyway I already told her I would be there for her if she is in need of help I just don't want this to go wrong I have been cheated on 2 times it hurts.  I mean she did say she had problems in the past I guess  all I can do is be a good friend and be there for her give her time to recover. If you have any more suggestions on what I should do about this please help me.

Thank you
Clinton Meaut
Answer -
Clinton-

Thanks for writing.  Hope I can help.

It sounds like Estella may be depressed, but it's practically impossible to tell - depression has many contradictory symptoms and many causes.  It's obvious that she and her dad don't have a good relationship - there is no way to tell why, but since it is apparent that her parents are divorced, that could be causing some problems.

At this point, I don't think there is a whole lot that you can do except respect Estella's wishes not to talk about it, and to meeting her only when and where she says.  If you're going away to college, it's going to be tough for you to see her next year.  I know it sounds like you might like a relationship with her, but I don't see that happening any time soon.  I would continue to be her friend, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to think that there will be anything else in your future.  Perhaps it will be easier to contact her this summer if she's at her mom's - maybe you can write to her or caall her.  Just tell her that you want to be her friend and will listen if she wants to talk, but if she's not willing to, there's not a thing that you can do but pray for her.

Hope this helps.  Let me know if you have any other questions.  I will prya for you and Estella.

blessings,

carl  

Answer
Clinton-

I don't think your relationship is going to go anywhere until Estella either gets out of the house or her father gets less strict, which isn't going to happen.  Maybe when she gets out of the house to go to her mom's you'll have more time to talk to her.  I'd wait until then, as I think you're just setting yourself up for heartache if you try to continue to pursue her.

carl