Expert: Carl Fuglein - 12/1/2007

Question
I would like to know more of the Christian views on homosexuality/bisexuality/pan-sexuality/etc. and same sex marriage. I know many strict Christians do not approve of homosexual relationships and marriage between two people of the same sex because the bible condemns it, and possibly for personal reasons, and opinions, but I find the reasoning not logical, and sometimes hypocritical (no offence), and it makes me a bit angry.

The idea that God wishes for the uniting of a man and women (only) because he wishes man and women to be fruitful, and reproduce, for example, is flawed. While two men and two women cannot reproduce without outside help, such as new technology, occasionally a married man and women cannot. If a woman or man is infertile they can't give birth/produce seed. If they are still able to get married, yet a homosexual cannot for based on this particular reason, it is unfair, and discrimination.

A more generalized reason that homosexual relationships are improper that frustrates me is how homosexuality is a "choice" and can just resist temptation through prayer. Scientific evidence actually points out that homosexuality is indeed not a choice, or at least not for some homosexuals. In the case of "ex-gays" we cannot truly know if they are lying or not when the supposedly "become heterosexuals." I think this actually hurts people because those who fail to change themselves after many, many tries often lead lives of depression, and may even commit suicide thinking they have failed God. As for expecting homosexuals to keep their feelings to themselves is cruel and unhealthy. While heterosexuals are liberated to tell others of their affection for another feelings for others build up in homosexuals they have been told to suppress. Keeping strong feelings to yourself, and not letting another know how they care about them can be painful, and also can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts in extreme cases. Being able to express yourself is important, and keeps stress from weighing down someone... why would God want someone to be hurting themselves emotionally and possibly to the point of physically??

Jesus taught us to love, and that we are all equal, yet Christians say he feels God does not want homosexuals to express their love, and that they are sinners. I do not understand how God wouldn't accept one person for who they love (assuming the person is also a loving person in general, and is not abusing their partner).

I believe in God, and Jesus, and I like to know as much as I can about all sides of a topic before making an opinion, but this is one of the topics I disagree with the Christian church on. I do not expect to have changed your opinions, but I do feel I needed to take stand on the topic, and possibly learn more about the Christian view on the matter. I look forward to your response, and hope i have not offended you or God with my opinions (if I have I apologize, as that is not what I wrote this to do).

Sincerely,
Christine, age 14.

Answer
Christine-

I've been thinking about your question since last night, and I'm still not sure how best to respond.  I have a lot to say, and beg your forgiveness is this response rambles and/or is a little long.

First off, let me get this out of the way.  You said:

"yet Christians say he feels God does not want homosexuals to express their love, and that they are sinners."

I have to vehemently disagree with your thoughts on this.  There ARE Christians who say and believe that, but not all of them.  The difference is really simple - Christians are called to hate sin, not sinners.  Jesus loved everyone, and we should use Him as our example for our behavior, and we, too, should love everyone: homosexuals, murderers, liars, adulterers all included.  God does not hate homosexuals.  God hates sin.  And, according to the Bible, homosexual acts are sinful.

See I Corinthians 6:9-10
(1 Cor 6:9-10 NIV)  Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Se also Romans 1:24-27  Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
25  They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator--who is forever praised. Amen.
26  Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.
27  In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

~~~~~~~~

There are others as well.  And there are other sins as well. But Christians are called to love the sinners, and hate the sin.  There is a big difference between "being" homosexual, and committing homosexual acts.  The first is NOT a choice, the second one IS a choice.  Someone who is homosexual who remains celibate is not sinful.

Before you start with your argument that those who are homosexual cannot express their love without sinning, consider this scenario:

Say your pastor gets in the pulpit on Sunday morning, and he says the following:  "Hi.  I've decided to come clean.  I'm married to a wonderful woman.  I also have a girlfriend.  I go out with my girlfriend once a week and have sex with her.  I'm not going to stop doing it, because I don't think adultery is a sin.  Sure, the Bible says it is, but God made me a heterosexual, and I love women, and I just can't stop myself from having sex with most every woman I meet.  So, I decided it's not a sin, and I'm going to keep doing it.  And in case you wondered.  My wife knows.  She's got a boyfriend, too."

Now that may sound really far-fetched, but a homosexual is essentially saying that each and every time they have sex with someone of the same sex.  "The Bible says it's a sin, but I don't think so, so I'm going to keep doing it."

Christine, I believe every person was created by God, and each of us is a sinner.  Each one of us has at least one sin that we commit frequently.  It could be pride, lust for power, sexual immorality, stealing, lying, dishonoring our parents, or desiring our best friend's CD collection.  All of these things are sin.  We can't pick and choose which sin is a sin, and which isn't.  The Bible is clear about homosexual sex.

What Christians believe about homosexuality is all over the map.  You have fundamentalist radical churches like http://www.godhatesfags.com (seriously - go check it out) who concentrate on just one sin, homosexuality, and blame it for everything that ever happens.  Then you have conservative Christians slightly less radical, but also homophobic like Jerry Falwell who thinks Tinky-Winky is gay (seriously, he said so a few years ago).  And you have Ted Haggard, who was the founder of a large fundamental Christian church who publicly condemned homosexuality and was ultimately forced to resign because he himself paid a male prostitute for sex.  These type of churches, in my opinion, are the ones that give most of the rest of us Christians a bad name and call us all homophobic.

Then you have protestant churches like my denomination, United Methodists, who refuse to ordain openly homosexual persons, yet we welcome them to participate in our church.  Obviously, I think the UMC position is the "correct" one, but I understand and accept that others disagree with me.

There are many independent Christian churches who openly accept homosexuals, e.g. United Church of Christ (see their positions stated here: http://www.ucc.org/lgbt/), certain Presbyterian congregations (see: http://www.mlp.org/ ) and the Episcopal church who has an openly gay bishop ( see:http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Northeast/11/02/bishop.consecration/ ), yet the Episcopal church is about to be split apart because there are those who disagree.

I hope that you can see that this is a volatile issue with churches and others all over the map.  Please don't think that ALL Christians think like some do.  And I hope I've given you sufficient evidence that this is true.

You may ask the question, "Why does God make homosexuals?  Why does He make them desire sex with each other?"

Christine, I'll answer that question for you as soon as I answer this question, which I cannot:  "Why does God make me sexually desire women I cannot have?"  I'm married.  I've been married for 38 years.   But the Bible is clear that I'm a sinner, too.  Jesus himself said that if you lust in your heart, that's as bad as adultery itself. Matthew 5:28: 28  "but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  

The bottom line is that we are ALL sinners.  It may be more difficult for homosexuals to deal with their desires, but there is an answer - Jesus died for ALL our sins, and without HIM, we cannot get to heaven.

(1 Cor 6:17 NIV)  But he who unites[1] himself with[2] the Lord is one with him in spirit.

Mankind is the one that picks and chooses which sins are worse than others.  I don't think God does.  I think God sees all sin as wrong, and that's why He sent Jesus.  It's easy for mankind to pick on homosexuality, because it's not "normal".  God made man and woman to be married, Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.  Says so in Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Consider this - Jesus never spoke about homosexuality.  He DID speak about money.  I have a friend Julie who said this about that:  "my question is, why do some churches focus so much on yammering about homosexuality, but not a fraction as much about other "sins" listed in the Bible?  If I remember correctly, Jesus spoke some 200+ times against the sins of money and wealth.  Why aren't we all over that one?"  Interesting thought.  Why DON'T we talk about money - the Bible tells us that we're supposed to give 10% of our wealth to the church.  Average giving of church going Christians is around 1-2%.

I'm going to give you one more link - http://www.godmademegay.com/Letter.htm

This letter was written many years ago BEFORE there was so much controversy about homosexuality.  The guy that wrote is still alive, in his 90's.  Although I don't agree with him, it is the most compelling argument I've ever read for accepting homosexual behavior as NOT sinful.

I hope this helps, or it may confuse you even more.  But I'd love to hear more questions and your thoughts about this.  You are wise to consider all positions before formalizing your own.  Even though I disagree with you, you certainly have not offended me in the slightest, and I appreciate your trust in writing to me.  I'd love to continue our discussion - please feel free to write again.

hugs,
carl