Expert: Carl Fuglein - 8/7/2002

Question
Hey there...
I am an 18 year old funky red head that has just moved outta the house and trying it on my own in a new and bigger town...I am trying to fit in and make new friends because I had to leave all mine behind ..I was raised in a Christian home and went to a PRivate H.S....but the question I have at this moment is about religious differences in a relationship...I know that it says that we shoud not be unevenly yoked but I am a very caring and unjudgmental person who cares for everyone...I mean I have gone out with Mormons, unaffiliated, falling Christians and plus..but what I want to know is how do I minsiter to an Athiest...yes I am going out with him but like this just came up in the relationship...he was raised mormon but never liked that idea and so turned away...(like scared as a young child sorta thing I think) He knows I am Christian and is curious about my faith and my bases....so how do I stand and what do I say to let him know that there is a Grea GOD out there? Thanx alot and I know I will be back for some more questions and answers....God Bless, Ragina

Answer
Hi Ragina-

Thanks for writing.  Finally, a question that's NOT about sex.  It seems the last several questions I've had have all been about sex.  Enough about me.

You are absolutely right about the unevenly yoked (2 Cor 6: 14-17).  However, I personally take a much more liberal view of this than most youth ministers. Strictly speaking, if you took these verses literally, then you wind up in a Catch-22, because Jesus ALSO taught us to "Go ye therefore and make disciples...)(Matthew 28:19-20).  Well, if we're NOT supposed to be with non-believers, and we're SUPPOSED to make disciples, how in heaven's name can we do that?  You can't make disciples by dealing ONLY with believers?

So, here's the deal - I don't have anything against inter-religion dating, but keep in mind that I must advise you that you SHOULD NOT get married to a non-believer - he will resent all the time you spend with God.  But you didn't ask me about that question.

I think your friend falls into a different category all together - it seems to me that he is more of a seeker than an atheist.  Being raised Mormon is enough to scare the hell (or heaven) out of anyone. (check out www.exmormon.org ) So, how do you tell an atheist that God is real?  The best way you can do it is by sharing your faith - just tell him that you believe, that God is real in your life and how YOU know He is real.  

For example, I believe in God for a number of reasons - I believe God has sent people to me to aid and assist me in times of trial and strife.  My house got flooded due to 24 inches of rain in 30 hours - my entire subdivision was flooded.  I trust in God and asked for help - help came from all over - I had 6 people call me while I was still knee deep in water offering me a home for as long as I needed it.  Another biggie is that God has ALWAYS been faithful to ME, even when I have not been faithful to HIM.  I prayed for 5 years for a new job in a new location to start a new life.  I gave up after 5 years.  5 years AFTER that, a new job came literally out of the blue, totally unexpected - I took the new job and my life has been incredibly blessed since.  These are just a couple reasons how God has answered prayer for me - I would suggest that you share some examples of answered prayer in your life.

How well do you know your Bible?  The Bible is THE source for showing someone that God is real.  The entire story of God being faithful to Noah and saving his family because Noah was righteous.  The story of Moses leading the Israelites from slavery.  The story of God's final solution of Jesus Christ to save all of us.  If you're looking for a summary - go to the 11th chapter of Hebrews.

Continuing with Bible stories - just look at what the Gospel writers wrote down - they were being persecuted for their beliefs, yet they still wrote down miracles and wrote that Jesus was raised from the dead.  If they had wanted to garner favor from fellow Jews, don't you think they would have toned down the entire Gospel story some?  I think that the mere fact that the Gospel writers went out on a limb, that they went so far as to WRITE down what they saw and felt indicates to me that they really did see it!  And look at John 21:25  "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."  They didn't even write it all down.

Along the same line, why is the Bible the best selling book of all time?  Don't you think God has something to do with that?

Share the story of the Prodigal Son with your friend - God is like the father in the story.  Luke 15:11-32.

Finally, for starters, talk about Grace.  The fact that Jesus died for YOUR sin, and for your friend's sin, too, so that each of you could have eternal life is so radical that we, as humans, have a difficult time understanding it.  It doesn't make sense that we can't earn our way into heaven, yet it's true.  God loves us so much, there's nothing we can do that would prevent us from going to heaven, so long as we repent from our sin and accept the fact that Jesus died for us.  In fact, even if your friend were the only person on Earth, Jesus would still have gone to the cross for him.

Ragina - the best way to witness to someone else is to be yourself.  Be real.  If God is in you, leave it to Him to make that light shine.  All you have to do is to plant seeds, and then PRAY.  God will water the seeds and cause them to grow.  Be honest with your friend - if you don't know the answer to a question, say so.  Then go ask your pastor or ask a fellow believer or come ask me my opinion.  We, as Christians are NOT perfect, we do NOT know all the answers.  We ONLY know that God loves us and forgives us.

Did I mention that you need to PRAY for your friend?  Every day, every hour, every minute.  Pray without ceasing that the light shines through you and that he recognizes it.

It is a noble and right thing to share your faith.  It's the last thing that Jesus told His disciples to do.  I'm proud of you for doing it, and I will pray for you and your friend.  Please don't hesitate to come back to me to answer more specific questions, and feel free to ask the same question of other members of All Experts, too, to get a second or third opinion.  God be with you!


hugs,

carl

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