Expert: Carl Fuglein - 10/4/2007

Question
Hi,

Could it be that the "sexual immorality" that the Bible speaks of is  "only"  intercourse, and not anything else ?

Thanks,
Alisha

Answer
Hi Alisha-  

Good question.  I personally believe that sexual immorality in the Bible means far more than intercourse.  There are verses that condemn men sleeping with men, women with women, women with animals, prostitution, incest.  There are so many, it's clear, at least to me, that the Bible means any sexual contact outside of marriage.

God gave us the beautiful gift of sex.  He intended it to be used for creating intimacy between a husband and wife as well as for procreation.  (See Gen. 2:21-23, 3:16, and 4:1)  Instead, humans have exploited sex by committing adultery, which includes pre-marital and extra-marital sex, (Exodus 20:14) and even thinking about committing adultery.  (Exodus 20:17)  But what constitutes sex?  I think this is the actual question that you are asking.

There are many reasons why you may be asking this question.  One, you're looking for someone to give you a specific limit.  Two, you're looking for permission to do certain "things" without feeling guilt.  Third, you really don’t know what, in God's eyes, constitutes sex.  Look up these words in the dictionary:  sex; sexual intercourse; coitus.  Still not very clear, is it?  In my dictionary, sexual intercourse has two definitions - one is coitus, the other is "sexual union involving genital contact, but without penile penetration".  But human sexuality is not just physical; it’s also an intellectual, social, ethical and spiritual act with social consequences.  

Human sexuality is complex.  It’s been said that women have sex to get love while men give love to get sex.  A commodity traded between two individuals who are using each other as a means to an end.  Women are turned on by emotional intimacy, while men are more aroused by a woman’s appearance.   Does that mean a woman should refrain from intimacy on all levels?  Should a man never look at a woman?   It's all part of the human sexuality "dance" leading to sexual union. Humans do all sorts of strange things prior to having sex. When you're older and in a committed marriage relationship, merely "talking" and "cuddling" can constitute sex or foreplay. So, we come back to the question again, what is sex?  

Most contemporary clinical and social definitions of sex include genital contact and stimulation of any kind, even with clothes on - in the extreme, this might include senuous hugs and everything between that and intercourse.  I wouldn't go so far as to say a sensuous hug is necessarily sex, but once you get past a male having an erection (which for teens could be just looking at a fully clothed girl with lust on his mind) and/or a female having vaginal secretions and getting wet, then you start down the road to "sex".  I believe the Biblical interpretation would most certainly include mutual masturbation, dry humping, oral sex, and anal sex, not just intercourse.

These three verses pretty much support my position:

Proverbs 6:25 - Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.

Ephesians 4:19 - Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

Colossians 3:5 - Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

I hope this helps. please take time to rate my answer - it's the only feedback we get.  And don't hesitate to ask additional questions.

blessings,
carl


Additional references:

Leviticus 18:23
'Do not have sex with any kind of animal. You would become unclean by doing so.'

Leviticus 18:22
'Do not have sex with a man as you would with a woman. It is an abomination.'

Leviticus 20:13
'If a man has sex with a man in same way as with a woman, they have committed an abomination. They are certainly to be put to death.'

Matthew 5:28
'I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully...has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'