Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 7/23/2004

Question
Hi, I would like to thank you for your answer to my last question. (this is to refresh your memory-Pastor Don Carpenter Answers -
Hi Catye,

Thanks for this great question.. First of all, relax, I am very much King James only! I believe that God preserved every Word and the King James Bible is the very Word of God for English speaking people.

There are several things to consider:

1. Is smoking wrong?

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Smoking is the defiling of the Temple that God gave you....

Another thing about smoking is that it is addictive. Notice what the Apostle paul says in the same chapter that I quoted earlier:

1 Corinthians 6:12
12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

So.... is smoking wrong? Yes. Does this mean that your friend is hopeless....NO!

2. Should you date him now? I think that any time you are tempted to go back on a personal commitment that you made earlier you are in a dangerous place.

James 1:8
8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

If God is molding him and changing him in preparation to make him a pastor, he will eventually have to quit smoking. I think that it would be appropriate for you to privately pray for him to be convicted and quit....but do not get involved with him now. You are 14 and have your life ahead of you. He may be the one GOd has for you....but not now, not while he struggles with this addiction. Always keep this in mind, sin is like an iceburg, what you see sticking up out of the water is only one tenth of what lies below the surface. If your friend struggles with smoking....perhaps there are more even stronger passions that he must rule before he can make a good choice to date. If he is called or even thinks he is called to the ministry, then he will be a target for satan to destroy him. You must give him room to grow before you get involved with him.

Now let us talk about what you mean by dating...

If you mean going alone somewhere and boyfriend girlfriend....bad idea. That king of intamacy should not be explored until you are old enough and ready to get married should the right man come along.

Romans 13:14
14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

In summary... continue to foster friendship with this guy without allowing romance to complicate both of your lives. Pray for him...but do not tell him that if he stops smoking you will date him...then you are the reason he stops....and that isnt good enough....he will start someday.... Let God convict him, and if He does, and if he responds....THEN you may entertain thoughts of dating in the future. Just sit back and pray and wait.

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps.

In Christ,
Pastor Don) Any way just one small question about the same subject... What should i do if he asks me to date him? This may seem like a small question but I have very little experience in this matter. (I've dated one other guy from my church and it did not work out)

thank you for your help...
Catye  

Answer
Hi,

I have been thinking about my answer to you....if he asks....tell him exactly what your concern is.

Proverbs 27:5-6
5 Open rebuke is better than secret love. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Perhaps you are the one God has to move him on to a higher spirituality.

In CHrist,
Pastor DOn