Expert: Carl Fuglein - 11/16/2006

Question
I am dating a guy who says that he is a believer and I believe him. I just want evidence of it in his life. Can you help me figure out what I should be looking for as evidence in his life? I would really appreciate it!

Answer
Chelsea-

Thanks for writing, I hope I can help.

The first evidence I would look for is whether or not he faithfully attends church, Bible study, and/or aa Christian Youth group.  It's difficult to be a believer without being in a community of believers.

In his day to day life, I would look for how he treats other people - especially people who are a generation younger, and senior citizens.  Also his parents.  Does he treat them all with respect?  Is he kind when he talks about them, or is he negative about everything?  This one may seem silly, but if you go out to a restaurant - is hes a big tipper?  Does he treat your waiter/ress with respect by not saying please and thank you, and not being demanding.  Kindness and generosity are a large part of being a believer - respect for others.

How about his language?  Would you take him home to mom?  Or does he swear like a sailor, and often?

In his relattionship with you - does he pressure you for sex?  If so, then I would question his motives, and question his belief - a true beleiver would wait for marriage before thinking about sex.

Does he treat you like a lady all the time?  Does he open doors for you?  Does he go out of his way to make sure you're happy?  All these are signs of a believer - one who puts others before themselves.

If you question any of this, then hold him accountable, i.e., if he does osmething that you don't think is Christlike, tell him, and ask him why he acted the way he did.

Hope all this helps.

blessings,
carl

ps feel free to write again for clarification.