Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 8/29/2007

Question
Hi. I have a situation that I don't know what to do. I'm 18 years old. My parents are divorced. That's not really the problem. The problem is, both parents are committing acts that I don't agree with and I wouldn't think the bible agrees with. I have a mother that cheats on men, neglects her eight year old daughter (my little sister), and a father who is hateful, only sees the flaws in me, and it seems, doesn't think that i can do anything right by myself. I know the bible says "Honor thy father and thy mother", but how can i honor them when they seem to be committing sins against God?(not saying that i am perfect). Sometimes I get depressed and angry at the ways they are acting and I was hoping that you could show me what the bible has to offer according to this issue.

Sincerely,
            Michael

Answer
Hi Michael,

THank you for this great question. There are several things that you need to know that will help you.

1.  Just because you obey God's command to honor your father and mother, does not mean that you have to condone their sin.  It means that you let that sin be between them and GOd, that is not your business.  In the following story we have a cantrast between one sone who saught to expose and expose his father's sin of drunkenness and the other two sins who would cover their father's sin and allow it to be between their father and God.
Genesis 9:20-23
20 And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: 21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. 22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. 23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  You need to forgive your parents like God for Christ's sake forgives.... He forgave while He was on the cross and the people had not repented.

Ephesians 4:32
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Luke 23:34
34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Your parent's sins are none of your business.... your job is to honor and obey them, let God handle the rest.

Matthew 7:1


Judge not, that ye be not judged.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don