Expert: Carl Fuglein - 10/4/2006

Question
I was addicted to porn for a few years, partly because of my past and abused expriences, but God knows my heart is for Him.....
I want to be free..
I also want to make sure of God plan for me.because even if i m addicted to porn and felt into drugs a few times, i knew in my heart that i did not really want to do those things.
And I feel God plan for me is to be in missionary in future.but i need to make clear of this...
also, i feel i can not really love a guy.so i need to make sure if I will stay single all my life without marriage...

Answer
Hi Diana-

Thanks for writing.

Knowing God's plan for your life is understanding a combination of factors - a desire in your heart and mind, a touch of the Holy Spirit that can't quite be understood, and confirmation from trusted Christian friends that know you well.  One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11- God says, "For I know the plans I have for you; plans not to harm you but to prosper you.  Plans to give you hope and a future".

If mission work is in your future, God will make it happen.  I would start slow, however, to see how well you like the work.  There are short term missions of a week to several months - your pastor or local church should be able to help you find a short term mission to work on.  You might also want to check on the Internet by googling "mission projects short term" and look at those links.  If you enjoy the short term projects, then you will probably be able to find some long term work as well.

Talk about your experiences with Christian friends and see what they say.  I highly recommend that you take a "Spiritual Gifts Inventory" to help you determine the gifts God has given you - go to

http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi?intro=1

and

http://mintools.com/spiritual-gifts-test.htm

If you are still struggling with porn and drugs, consider rehab and/or therapy.  For the porn addiction, go to http://xxxchurch.org an excellent Christian site for porn recovery - I've met the guys that run this site and I highly recommend it.

Don't rule out all guys - they're not all like the ones that abused you.  Maybe God has a plan in that area, too - missionary work is easier with a trusted partner.  Therapy may be the best bet for you to overcome some of the issues that come with abuse.

Above all else - pray.  God will lead the way.

Hope this helps - please take the time to rate my answer, and feel free to ask followups if you need more info.

blessings,
carl