Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 7/25/2005

Question
First of all, let me thank you for taking time out of your life to help me out with mine. I have an issue regarding Christ in my relationship with my girlfriend (just so you know, I am 18 and she is 17). Since I was old enough to talk, I was being taught about Christ. I grew up in a very Christian household and went to church every Sunday (and I still try to). My relationship with God is the most important thing in my life, and it is something I would love dearly to share with my girlfriend, Christine. She was also brought up in a Christian household, but I don't think her family stressed it as much as mine did (and still does). I have been dating her for just 2 1/2 months, but I have been pretty much best friends with her for almost 3 years, so we are very close for a "new" couple. I really want to believe that she loves Christ and follows her faith as much as I do, and she does claim to be a Christian, but the only times she ever attends church is with me, and she doesn't ever talk about God unless I bring Him up. I mean, I know she is a good person at heart (she volunteers her time, is devoted to her family, isn't into drugs or drinking), but I'm just not sure if she is a reborn Christian. Like I said, she doesn't necessarily do anything that would make me think she WASN'T a Christian, but I'm just not sure if she is as devoted to her faith as I am, and I don't know how to find out without hurting her feelings. Also, how can I help to bring God into our relationship a little more? I would like to talk about my faith with her, but I never know how to broach the subject or even where to start. I love her and care about her deeply and it would mean the world to me to be able to share with her the greatest aspect of my life: God.

Answer
Hi Mike,

Thanks for this great question.  The first thing that you should do is ask her if she wereto doe and stand before God and He were to ask her , "Why should I let you into my heaven?"...what would you say?  If she gives a works asnser...or anything other than because Jesus died for my sins...then she is not born again...and all the other teaching and sharing that you will do is lost on dead ears.

2 Corinthians 2:14
14 Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

If she is born again, take the lead and make Jesus central in your relationship...have devotions together.... talk about your Sunday School lessons...do ministry together...if that is too much for her...then you need to find a more spiritual girl before it is too late and before you get shipwrecked too.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ,
Pastor Don